Pale Beauty in Darkness
Last thoughts of a drifting fictional astronaut
Chilling thoughts churning through
My mind in everlasting illusion, it feels
Hopeful platitudes repealed
Slowly repelled outwards
Subsiding feelings in the outmost
Of my limbs
Drifting towards darkness it seems
Body ripping at the seams
Vision blurry and it seems
My life is ending at the scene
If it ends as I look at this scene
I don’t mind. Magnificence is the theme
The pale blue marble glistening. I feel esteemed
To witness the marvel that is our home
From such a distance… shit, I hear a light drone
Air is escaping into the vacuum
Even the air is fighting to be free I assume
I’ll be happy, as I’d achieved my freedom from gravity
And had enjoyed such beauty, despite every body cavity...bleeding
I’ll float here and enjoy the scene in
Peace. Thank God I’m not careening.
...
...
B e a u t i f u l...
P e a c e f u l...
B r e a t h – t a k i n g...
...
...
...
Goodbye earth... I’m glad your beauty I got to taste
...
...
“Hang in there, sir! We’re pulling you in, post-haste”
About the Creator
Mo Darasi
I write fiction, poetry and occasional articles about interesting topics.
Finding interesting ways to write a poem or hide messages within them seems to be my main interesting in writing now, and it's been fun
Comments (16)
Love this piece, Mohammed! What a whirlwind of emotions! This was an entire story in such a short piece– absolutely brilliant!
Wonderful Read!
This is fantastic and that ending has me messed up. First I was sad, then at peace, then whoa what if he doesn't want to come back! Excellent job on this one.
Brilliant work!
Spectacular poem!!! Loved it!!!❤️❤️💕
Oh goodI got worried
This had such a depth to it that is so hard to process, you've left me reeling from this emotional rollercoaster (in a good way). I was so ready to embrace the abyss with the narrator and then shocked and relieved to be saved. It was so melancholic and yet so filled with hope with that ending line... Beautiful! So wonderful portrayed and written Mohammed!
What Naomi said. I was all for crossing the void and hearing your summary of life after death. But, hey, I am happy they saved you, maybe, hopefully. This was deep.
Well this was a clusterfuck of feelings. It reminded me of that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where she gets brought back to life, but regrets it… because, for once, she was at peace, surrendering to nothingness, no longer obligated to do or be anything. It also made me wonder if people with near death experiences ever have mixed feelings about surviving. I mean, life is a beautiful blessing, but if you think your work is done and accept it, only to find out it’s a “gotcha!” I don’t know how that feels. There’s also some vivid use of language here. Great work, Mohammed.
Creative writing! Well written.
Such a creative swirl of thoughts and feelings. Great writing. For a moment I felt as if I was the astronaut out there!
I felt so many emotions - fear, joy, hope - the pull between light and darkness. Amazing job; so surreal! 🤗
Nice Piece✨💯You have a Fantastic vision ❤️😉📝❗
Whoaaaaa! This is just so surreal and vivid!
enjoyed the end- he made it
Good monologuing commentary.