Orders From God

God whispered in my ear

And told me the part I had to play

Both of us are sacred and holy

You the innocent lamb, martyr

Me the cunning wolf, traitor

Both revered

Yet one will be written past the ages

And my name shall always be soiled with your blood

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I did what was asked of me

How am I any worse than Abraham

God asked for sacrifice

And I laid you on the altar you were born for

The thing about me is that I can do it

I strike true, and God didn't intervene at the last moment

You were born and bred for this

And you didn't see the tears in my eyes as I drove home the fraternal dagger

I saw those wounds

I watched, a face in the crowd, as they hung your body

You were suspended in midair, my heavenly magician

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I didn't want to do it

I loved you, wanted you to be mine in the way the skin is

I didn't want to do it

God asked for sacrifice

And I know how much you honored your Heavenly Father

You were always too sweet

Your father was a sinister bastard, asking that of me

Your most devoted brother

He knew my allegiance true

And he knew I could do it

I saw the big picture

I saw the way people would chant and sing your name

I saw that your life could only begin when you died

I saw you as my shadow, my inverse

I lost you there for a moment in the womb

But I love you in a way more than a brother is

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You are more than my kin

Don't you know that I, too, attended mass

I ate your body, drank your blood

My lips taste of bitter remorse, but having you is always sweet

A momentary lapse from the pain of who I will always be

You are the only one that knows how deep this goes

I don't need a book of psalms

I need not the mass's praise

I just need your sad, calf eyes

Raking all over me