On the Carnival Wheel

A twig snapped beneath his feet, and cracked the silence all around him, and he slipped into a stillness, slightly less innocent of his impact on the area, just until at the last edge of the instant a whip of wind from up above came first over his forehead and flushed his face, and he made out broad feather tips passing softly through the misty sky in two great slow strokes.

_

A boy of any age came into the world eyes wide and hiding little.

His mother loved him well, and father turned his head. He learned his lessons well.

He followed his dreams.

The fumes of fried foods alone would/could have intoxicated him.

So many lives passed by his eyes, and he wondered where he fit in among them.

___

[“You who would set yourself apart!”]

“I (can) see it in your style, child!” “You long for loss of innocence!”

“Come quick! Know! Seek, See!”

“Come to the inevitable conclusion(s)!” ((of (your) doom (?))

[A desire took hold in/of him, forgetting (his former fear and) (the) affairs of fair and family.]

He passed the [kettle corn]- “We will all taste emancipation”

________________

As an artist, nae the master craftsman, he first fashioned himself into an instrument that would tune into the infinite unborrowed yet.

As a gambler, he felt free.

Should begin with them resuscitating him or something- at a medically dramatic moment, (and) transition point

On a ventilator, in a coma

Machine beeps, etc. - up his spine, like chakras- to some extent, he felt he could tell the correspondences

Hanging on, struggling, drowning, sinking downward- and in the instant he let go all would fall black and vast, (all grounded,) weightless, – all dispersed, so he could sense the space between himself- between his cells, blank images of names- and memories were flying off the shelves, all slipped on a never ending stream, - til the feeling of the flowing air through him and he in the air were one in the same

“I.. heard what happened”

Keep trying to stir his memory, etc. with stuff, and/or soothe/help him- listening to things, meditations and stuff, etc. - music

sense/sound of clock ticking (the old analog schoolroom clock) (with the red second hand)

______

When he finally caught the truth, he sold it.

The loneliness ate away at him.

Until at last in the unknown final hour he consumed his chosen ones.

“Isn’t it a pity?”

Stormed the throne room screaming ‘I am guilty! Set me free!’

The martyr zipped his pants up.

“Wow, what a ride! What a way to go out! Totally invigorating!”

The siege surged. Bills came in late.

Watches unraveling.

__

[mirror part] He felt the drums beat in his blood

The peoples crossed the continents and shot off across the stars.

The parting waters rushed back in

(til) the tides aligned and the stars swung on their strings

______

An old and battered covered woman, visibly hunched though seated on the cold stone sidewalk, begs you to rub her feet.

__

Until the Queen succeeded him.

Bob Dylan breathed in deeply.

___

Thin ice suspended in the sky- bashed against it until it bled and slumped there baffled at the infinite unblemished expanse- except for this- his own crude drop of blood stain.

____

A child’s education, terminal

_______

He (always) swore he wouldn’t.

The bombs fell all around her, screaming.

____

“I think it’s uh, straight aways a bit, and then right, no left, right.” “Right, thanks.”

They told him this was the way. It seemed plausible.

The shepherd led him softly to sleep// astray.

The apathy

___

In the forest of faces he thought he saw them standing there, felt their gaze upon him, felt himself marked and embarrassed though ….. Inated??? Further still.

All his, mocking somehow

Quicksand

Wilfully he walked (and came upon a pool/pond) beneath a window.

_____

The burning sun sent little beads of sweat down his cheeks, and the salt stung his lips.

Coins, money

It’s eternal. It is free.

It is slave and master.

You would move the world.

_____

Born in a barren land, he stole to eat….

____

And with all his might he whipped the slave that had been so incredibly disrespectful.

“Why did God create such shit?” he grinned. “I am the hand.”

_____

Money changer. “(It’s) hot, isn’t it? Spend it! Isn’t it hot? Get an ice cream!

Yes, break it’s hold on you!

“My, my! That does look good. Give it to me, for inspection.”

The boy stopped nibbling. He stared, and gave it to him, and he promptly chomped it entire.

“Always mind the terms of any contract!”

___

“It’s that way,” they told him.

(signs) but they seemed sever, and stood in unyielding opposition.

The pages turned, and the child yearned.

He swam upstream, and was swept away. [gambler]

______

(He) kept his brother’s secret til he’d long forgotten it, when/and he screamed it in a dream.

___

He placed her ashes on the mantelpiece, and sank back in the loveseat.

_______

Finally childhood (boyhood) friend arrives to visit him, having heard the news from … some other mutual friend… (on Facebook?)

(mug breaks- falls and shatters (from girlfriend’s (wife’s) hands) when he arrives by surprise

But When on the 9th day in (Daniel’s hand) the (image of) the owl’s eyes appeared before (and behind his eyes) (slipped deep) between his senses, something slipped.

(in the night-time)- (not) the silhouette alone

Significant shivers shot down (up?) (through) his spine

As if pulled on a cord

Owl flew overhead

We’ll never forget this

(with friend)

As a

“You gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelette, am I right?”

“It helps just to talk about it, at least.”

((fell) [slipped] into the silence,) fell Forgotten, it seemed, by all but the immortal trees, which ate the earth with the worms and churned him, tilled the dirt - recycled sunward.

Teh leaves

He bent before the spring.

In the mirror

Rippling.. (ripples) (lines (appear) getting) clearer, as the features in the mirror flashed on through the ages, changing faces, [changing places, (trading)

Deeper, deeper, steeper, deep beneath

Sleep, creep

(wehn he put his glasses on ) he thought he saw that stolid silhouette, escaping (at a ____’s pace)

“I’m what you might call a qualia freak”

Invigorating.

__

—- but somewhere someone walked on coals

___

He thought he saw the essence of all eyes

___

And an impossible density

And the cavity of his chest conformed to an impossible density

The child…

The rush of flushing fluids cool and blue flew through him, pooled in

“I’m tryin to get obliterated.”

And all around behind him (bright) doors burned bright, which yearned , taking form

_

As the tide colliding with the/a seaward current…

Heard the humming hollow whole, (and) all music took the form before,

undifferentiated

Droning still, sustained, remaining

A prince of every planet

A grand ambivalence

He woke (at) women weeping

___

But fuel fed the fire- the risk was exposure, and expertise was the result of it- if you could run enough simulations psat

At long last the future slipped into the past

“Think you could drive soon? I’m starting to hallucinate..”

_

Particles waved at him.

__

Waiting there, everywhere, To splice the lightlife

wishing/wishes friction- Get a grip!

“I think there was something deeply personal at the core (of that) that he was trying to communicate”

“Through glasses’ glint and window’s tint”

“No, silly. Shooting stars can’t hurt us.”

“I’m skeptical.”

“For-/ever ever?”

“Yes, I promise.”

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

“But once he’s gone, I figure it’s fair game.”

“And how long do we wait here?”

“As long as it takes. Did you get your number yet?”

“Next!”

_________

In the black magic circle was the word unheard,

The wheel disturbed

The curse recurred

Dread debtors stirred

The deceiver relieved

But trust me, when he finally rolled the dice, they exploded!

Until the fire died from lack of fuel. And then the light went out.

________

Kings cycle- sword

Born over and over, resign to occasions and falling from them. He fought father-sons and uncles, brothers, each as they betrayed him

Until at long last the most daring among those grew weary of a worthless wreath and defined himself in opposition to his heritage, completing its obscure ironic will.

Galaxy wheel.

She loved him very deeply.