On Receipt of Bad News
For the dialogue poetry challenge
I’m so sorry darling.
Did we have rain today?
Did she say how it happened?
No, she didn’t say.
You must be devastated.
The garden looks quite dry.
It’s such a shock for everyone.
Oh goodness, don’t you cry.
When did we last visit him?
Will it rain tonight?
I remember there were bluebells out.
The forecast says it might.
Do you remember how we laughed?
Could you pass the butter?
That article you read aloud?
Can’t reach past all this clutter.
I can’t believe he’s really gone.
This meat is very tough.
I’m sorry, I’m just…. Quite upset.
I think I’ve had enough.
Will there be a funeral?
We’ll find out from his daughter.
I’ll have to get your jacket pressed.
The garden needs some water.
Oh sod the plants, at times like this!
You’d let the garden die?
It will be fine for just one night!
With temperatures so high?
Do you even feel at all?
Some rain is what it needs.
You care for flowers more than him!
I grew them from his seeds.
About the Creator
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Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
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Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
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Creative use of language & vocab
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Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
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Writing reflected the title & theme
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Comments (70)
I think this poem is very clever Hannah. The ways in which we cope with death when in a couple scenario like this one are rarely the same. One wishes to mourn and the other would like to forget, but both are likely hurting in different ways. Congratulations on winning the prize for this one. Thoroughly deserved!
Congratulations Hannah!🎉🎉🎉Great and powerful dialogue poetry!
A very belated congratulations for winning the challenge, Hannah!!! Richly deserved. I must have slept through this announcement!
This poem evokes emotions of what it means to communicate with a meteorological edge to it. The voices switch back and forth with definition and understanding and meaning. Bravura performance, Hannah. -S.S.
I really enjoyed the back-and-forth that leads the reader in one direction, but then has the surprise twist at the end. Very nicely done! And congrats on the win - very well deserved.
Very captivating!
This is absolutely beautiful!
Incredible. Congrats!
The pain here is thick and tangible... Nice job!
A well deserved win! I love the feeling of dissonance the two speakers create by rhyming with their own verses instead of the other speaker’s. The idea of preserving something your loved one cared for when you can’t preserve the person embodied by this garden is a work of art
I loved this twist at the end that brings two dissonant speakers together. I noticed that one speaker’s lines rhymed while the other’s did not, which was a great way to use craft to symbolize their disconnection. Well-deserved win!
Yes! Congratulations! Paying for dinner and drinks tonight?
So beautiful, Hannah! Congrats!!
Wow! That last line hit me like a punch to the gut. This is so well written, the rhythm and rhyme is spot on. Well deserved win! Well done 😁🍁👍.
Super congrats, Hannah!!! So happy for you! 🤩🤩🤩🍻
This is both heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. What a rollercoaster of emotion - and wonderfully written - very well deserved win!
This is so haunting and beautiful - incredible. Congratulations on first place! This is so well-deserved. 💗
Outstanding!
Fantastic! Congratulations on your well deserved Challenge win with this clever, amusing poem!
This is so beautiful, you did great job capturing the beauty in an everyday occurrence/ conversation. The raw emotion and the genuineness in the MC's grief that mixed with their daily life!! Great work and congrats on your win here!! Fabulous job!!
This was gorgeous. Congradulations!
Great words and I missed it, I am sorry, glad to see so much love for your wonderful poem
Congratulations on win 👏🎉
Beautiful. A well-deserved win.
😊👏Sheesh! That ending!.. But even before that it’s telling of complex emotions and dynamics between family members. And that rhyme scheme that just tinkers in and out like a bell. Huge congrats sent your way Hannah!! I’m so glad to have read this one! Best.