Heavy, the veil of self-absorption
Darkens the space to suit the mood.
Born of bitterness and fed
Well by disappointment,
A shroud for the soul
That harbors pain.
Throw it off.
See the
Light.
***
A/N: Still working on this breakup. Thanks for reading!
About the Creator
Dana Crandell
Dad, Stepdad, Grandpa, Husband, lover of Nature and dogs.
Poet, Writer, Editor, Photographer, Artist and Tech/Internet nerd.
My first published poetry collection: Life, Love & Ludicrosity
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
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Comments (19)
'Born of bitterness and fed - Well by disappointment,' EXCELLENT lines!
Oooh YES! a shroud for the soul - perfect line 😄
Well done Dana, this is a very thoughtful and compelling poem; not at all constrained by the nonet form.
Hey Dana, Congrats on Runner Up for Most Discussed Story this week!! 🎉
Such a vivid process. Well done, sir!
“Born of bitterness and fed Well by disappointment" is an amazing line Dana! It really speaks to me on such a deep level I doubt I have the words for it
“Born of bitterness and fed Well by disappointment” really caught my attention! A really excellent nonet and challenge entry!
Wrenching
Awesome
That ending was extremely powerful! Loved your Nonet so much!
"the veil of self-absorption" - this gave me a lot to think about. This is so beautifully constructed, Dana! Amazing entry :)
I feel like you've got to treat this one less like a break up and more like an estrangement in progress!
Yes, see the light! Well done, Dana 👏
This felt so eye opening Dana! I literally could visualize the moment when they threw off the veil and finally saw the light!! Amazing work!!
I love how this can be read as inner dialogue or speaking to another person. Beautiful
I was unaware of the breakup. Reading this actually tugged at my soul.
Such a great nonet, ending in hope!
Those last lines. If that doesn't scream breakup, nothing does. As sad as it is, there's a sense of freedom. Well done, my friend.
Felt this so deeply, sir. Well written and emotive, a powerful and important entry. Just stunning work, Dana!