No Return

It seems I've reached a point of no return

But I don't want to accept it

No matter how much my heart feels it

Im just desperately

Clinging onto something imaginary

Because I'm too afraid

To let go

Every night im weighed down

By my aching soul

With a stake in my throat

Curled up

Because it hurts so

So so much

My heart is bleeding

And its burning my chest

I claw at my chest

I claw at my face

Trying to fight this ache

But there's no escape

I cry

So terribly

Suffocating in my own sobbing

Remembering there's no reason to love me

I know this pain more than I know myself

No matter how many times I cry

I never get used to it

It only gets harder

It only gets heavier

I'm tired of pretending

That I don't know

What my body is telling me

I'm tired

Of pretending

But I'm not ready

To be alone

So I cling onto

My made up hope.