MY SOULMATE

MY SOULMATE BY SWIKILIA BROWN

I WAITED ALMOST A YEAR TO SEE HER-

THE ANTICIPATION OF HER ARRIVAL ATE AWAY AT ME LIKE MOTHS ON FABRIC-

I KNEW THAT I LOVED HER-

BUT WAS SHE GOING TO LOVE ME BACK?

I WAS SO ABUSIVE TO HER BEFORE SHE CAME-

I ACTED AS IF SHE WASN'T MY FRIEND-

I DISREGARDED HER FEELINGS-

I DISREGARDED HER NEEDS-

I DISREGARDED HER LIFE-

I DISREGARDED MY OWN LIFE-

I WAS WILD AND ABNOXIOUS-

DARINGLY RUDE AND SELFISH-

SHE WAS SO CALM AND LOVABLE-

I WAS SO ARROGANT-

WHILE SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE-

I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET HIGH-

THERE WAS NEVER ENOUGH BOOZE-

NEVER ENOUGH DRUGS-

AND AT TIMES I WOULD RATHER LIGHT UP A CIGARETTE THAN TALK TO HER!

ALL SHE NEEDED WAS LOVE-

ALL SHE NEEDED WAS CARE-

BUT MY CRAZY PARTYING AND DRUGS PREVENTED ME FROM BEING THERE-

FOR HER BECAUSE I MADE SURE TO SATISFY ME-

OR WHAT I THOUGHT WAS ME!?

THE REAL ME IS A TEDDY BEAR-

THE REAL HER IS AN ANGEL-

BUT THE ANGEL IS ALWAYS AN ANGEL BECAUSE SHE HAS NO FAKE SIDE-

I REALLY DON'T DESERVE TO BE WITH HER-

SHE STAYED BY MY SIDE THROUGH THICK AND THIN-

THROUGH RICH OR POOR, POOR OR RICH-

SHE STUCK BY ME WHEN SOCIETY DIDN'T WANT ME-

AND I NEGLECTED HER FOR ALMOST A WHOLE YEAR!?

I FRAMED HER PICTURE AND PUT IT ON BEDSIDE-

I KISSED IT AND HUGGED IT EVERY MORNING-

I BLEW IT UP INTO A POSTER AND HUNG IT ABOVE THE MANTLE-

I MARVELED AT IT'S SPLENDOR AND PURITY-

I THOUGHT ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL OUR LIVES WERE GOING TO BE TOGETHER-

AND THEN THE DRUNKEN RAGE CAME UPON ME-

A RAGE OF MY OWN MISERY-

AND I SLASHED THE POSTER OFF OF THE WALL-

I BROKE THE GLASS FRAME INTO AS MANY SHATTERED PEICES AS MY MIND WAS IN-

I GAVE MYSELF ANOTHER BIT OF DRUGS TO CALM DOWN-

AND SUDDENLY I WAS FINE-

BUT MY LOVE WAS STILL ON MY SIDE-

I SPENT MONEY ON GIFTS FOR HER-

SAVING THEM FOR ALMOST A YEAR-

AND RIGHT BEFORE SHE CAME TO ME-

I DESTROYED THEM-

WHY THE PRESENTS?

WHY THE PHOTOS?

WHY HER?

THE REAL AND IMPORTANT QUESTIONS ASKED-

BUT SELFISH ME DID NOT ASK BECAUSE I WAS TO BUSY ASKING WHY ME?

I WAS NUMBING MY PAIN OR GUILT-

ASHAMED OF THE TRUTH-

ASHAMED OF REALITY-

BUT SHE STILL REMAINED BY MY SIDE-

BY THE TIME SHE CAME I WAS UNHEALTHY AND STILL CAREFREE-

AND I WAS ROTTEN AND UGLY-

BUT SHE STILL LOVED ME-

WHEN I SAW HER FOR THE FIRST TIME IT FELT LIKE MY HEART STOPPED BEATING-

WHEN I SAW HER THE WORLD STOOD STILL-

I COULD BARELY SPEAK-

SHE WAS STILL AN ANGEL-

SO PERFECT AND PURE-

SO INNOCENT FROM MY WILD LIFE-

SHE WAS STRONG AND SMART-

I WAS COWARDLY REACHING OUT TO HOLD HER-

BUT SHE DREW BACK FROM ME-

SHE WASN'T AFRAID SHE WAS TIRED-

SHE WAS SICK-

SHE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO SMILE- SHE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH STRENGTH TO BE HELD-

SHE WAS STRESSED AND DEPRESSED FROM THE WAY I HAD BEEN TREATING HER-

I SAID I'M SORRY-

IT WAS TOO LATE-

TOO LATE TO CRY-

FOR THE DAMAGE WAS DONE-

I'M LUCKY TO HAVE HER-

I'M LUCKY THAT WE'RE ALIVE-

SHE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO STICK BY ME-

FOR I'M ALL SHE HAD-

I MADE HER SICK-

HER FAMILY HATES ME-

HER DAD IS JUST LIKE ME!

HE DRINKS TO MUCH BOOZE-

CHEAP BOOZE-

HE DID DRUGS AROUND HER WHILE I WAS WAITING TO MEET HER-

HE TOLD ME IT WOULDN'T BOTHER HER OR AFFECT HER LIFE-

THE PARTY LIFE DAY AND NIGHT-

THE NON-STOP DRUGS DAY AND NIGHT-

THE STRESS AND DRAMA-

THE ARGUING AND FIGHT-

THAT'S THE DRUG LIFE-

I'M GOING TO MAKE IT UP TO HER-

EVERYTHINGS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT-

I'M GOING TO GET CLEAN-

I'M GOING TO BE BRAVE-

NO MORE ALL NIGHT IN DRUNKEN RAGE-

NO MORE LYING CHEATING STEALING TO GET BY-

BECAUSE I LOVE HER AND I WANT HER TO FLY-

SHE'S SO SWEET AND SO PEACEFUL-

SHE LOVES UNCONDITIONALLY-

SHE'S SO GRACEFUL-

I'M SO GRATEFUL-

I'M CALLING ON THE HEAVENS FOR A MIRACLE-

I CRY OUT TO HER MY APOLOGIES-

I WANT HER TO BE HAPPY-

I WANT HER TO BE FREE OF PAIN-

AND WHATEVER IT TAKES-

IF FEASIBLE I WILL TRY AND TRY AGAIN-

FOR WE WILL WIN-

MY BATTLE IS WITHIN-

HER BATTLE IS WITH ME-

I NEED TO GET CLEAN-

WHILE SHE'S BEING TREATED IN THE HOSPITAL FOR STRESS AND UNHEALTHINESS-

I'M GOING TO REHABILITATION-

EXCELSIOR FORWARD PROGRESS-

NO MORE DRINKING AND DRUGS AND CIGARETTES-

HEALTHY MEALS AND HEALTHY DEALS-

NO MORE TWIDDLING MY FINGERS AND TURNING MY WHEELS-

EVERY WAY BUT THE RIGHT WAY-

I WILL TELL YOU ONCE AGAIN-

HOW I FEEL ABOUT MY FRIEND-

FROM THE BEGINNING AND BACK TO THE END-

AND LET US PRAY THAT IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN-

LONG LOST LOVE OR LOVE LONG LOST?

TO REVERSE AND DO IT ALL OVER- AGAIN I WOULD PAY ANY COST- I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME-

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HER DAD IS JUST LIKE ME-

I CAN BELIEVE THAT HER MOM WAS SO SELFISH-

BUT I'VE BEEN WAITING THE WHOLE YEAR TO MEET HER, AND SHE FINALLY ARRIVED TODAY-

I CAN SEE THE FUTURE IN HER EYES AND SMELL SUCCESS ON HER BREATH- I NEVER KNEW WHAT REAL LOVE WAS UNTIL SHE CAME MY WAY-

SHE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL-

SHE LOOKS LIKE GRACE-

SHE LOOKS LIKE THE DEW DROPS FROM THE DAWN OF A NEW DAY-

SHE LIVES IN A WORLD A BILLION MILES AWAY-

FROM THE TRAUMA OF DRUGS AND BOOZE PARLAY-

SHE STAYED BY MY SIDE FOR A YEAR AND GAVE ME NO PAIN-

I WAS SO MEAN TO HER AND SENSELESSLY RUDE-

BUT SHE GAVE ME NO PAIN-

I TREATED HER SO BADLY-

I SHOULD BE IN JAIL!

NO BOND, NO COMMISSARY, NO MAIL- JUST JAIL!I KNEW BETTER THAN TO TREAT HER SO WRONG-

SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND ALL ALONG-

I'M GLAD SHE'S AS HAPPY AS SUNSHINE NOW, AND HEALTHY AND LOVED,

I WAS SO ABUSIVE TO HER BECAUSE OF THE DRUGS-

IT TOOK A LONG TIME TO FALL IN LOVE WITH THE DRUGS-

A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP ALL OVER A QUICK BUZZ-

BUT THE FIRST TIME I SAW HER-

IT WAS AS IF HEAVEN OPENED UP-

I HAVE TO GO TO REHAB WHILE SHE'S AWAY AT FOSTER CARE.......

I'M TALKING ABOUT MY NEW BORN DAUGHTER-

AND I WILL NEVER LEAVE HER THERE-

MY SO-CALLED FRIENDS TOLD ME IT WAS BEST TO LET HER HAVE A NEW FOREVER HOME-

THAT'S WHY I WILL NEVER LEAVE HER ALONE-

I KNEW THEY WERE JEALOUS-

WITH THEIR FACES ALL SMUG-

AND NOT TO MENTION-

THEY KEPT OFFERING ME DRUGS-

THOSE CREEPS KEPT GIVING ME DRUGS-

I PRAY FOR HEALING AND I MEDITATE ON HAPPINESS-

I PRAY FOR US TO GAIN AN UNBREAKABLE BOND-

I MEDITATE ON HOW TO LOVE ADEQUATELY AND BE STRONG-

AND FOR MY NIGHTS TO BE SHORT AND NOT LONG-

THE REFLECTION OF MYSELF MUST LIVE ON-

THIS IS A POEM-

TO BE INTERPRETED INTO A SONG

I SING ON THE ROOFTOPS ALL DAY AND NIGHT LONG-

AMAZING GRACE FOR AN AMAZING RACE-

BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL-

I HOPE WE TAKE FIRST PLACE-

WE WILL WALK TOGETHER IN THE FUTURE-

BECAUSE THE PAST DID TAKE US FOR A RIDE.......

WE'RE GOING TO SURVIVE AND THRIVE-

BECAUSE TRUE LOVE AND COURAGE HAS KEPT US ALIVE 💗