My Old Friend

Another sleepless night,

Never do I fret,

It's just my old friend...

I nicknamed him Confusion...

Most people know of him, but they don't know him like I

He used to be a shrink, a safe place to confide

Countless nights, he allowed me to keep him up all night,

Other times he stayed awake to make sure I was safe.

Just your typical bullied girl, who dealt with foes alone

Except for Confusion, he was the only one to see the demons within

He suggested a game night, to distract me from my life

A guessing game of letters, you'd better get them right.

With every miss a consequence, and soon he formed a head,

representing the lies I consistently fed

Another set of strikes, and then the body came,

Too big to my eyes, but to him the shape was thin,

Representing the fear of rejection I refused to make gains

Struggling to breathe now, I was scared to lose this game...

Two more missed letters, and two arms he made

Two arms I wish I felt around me once again

My vision begins to tunnel, and my hearing quickly fades

Trying to focus, but nothing comes to mind

Then came the legs Confusion drew,

I was never grounded, weak knees and always falling to the enemy

By the end of the game, I was nothing but a sheep for slaughter

My old friend began to pull the rope a little tighter,

Darkness, my old friend, lets out a muffled laugh,

"Fooled me once, fooled me twice, ... but you won't fool me again..."

"Why me?! I thought we were friends?!"

"Dancing with Death is a dangerous game."

It was then I knew, Darkness was just preparing me for the inevitable, but I knew of a God who could do miracles...

Upwards I looked, with pleading eyes,

As if shooting a flare to the God most high

I don't deserve His grace, I understand my fate, because why would a God save me from the deal that I have made?

My old friend poured another glass, and raised it for a toast,

"Let's numb your pain, and dance again"

followed by whiskey on his lips...

Struggling with my thoughts, part of me says to give in and call it a night,

and another part of me says, no more, we fight!

I've tasted the forbidden fruit and chased it with some goose,

It's all my fault, I had Gods favor and then I blew it

You couldn't save me from myself, I'm a failure and I knew it.

Darkness, my old friend strung me up for all to see,

As if hung by my iniquities for God to say "you never knew me..."

A musky breeze infiltrates my nose as I swing by a lanky arm of an oak

I messed up one too many times, and it's now or never...

Do I greet an old friend, or finally take a stand?