Mommy Loves You
A mother's love knows no boundaries
Old Man Winston sat on a wall
He taunted the children who walked by
Their parents often heard them call
He always escaped as he was so sly
~~~~~
Old Man Winston went too far
The children threw stones at him
Hard enough so his body began to mar
He was laughed at by Little Boy Jim
~~~~~
Old Man Winston wanted revenge
On all of those pesky children
Little Boy Jim was sitting on a bench
He crept closer while staying hidden
~~~~~
Little Boy Jim's mother, Mrs. Milton
Saw him approach her oblivious son
She quickly tackled Old Man Winston
He tried his might but couldnβt run
~~~~~
Mrs. Milton called out to her son
Dinner was cooked and ready on the table
There were dishes more than one
Meat of Old Man Winston, it's true not fable
__________________________________________
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About the Creator
Dharrsheena Raja Segarran
π₯ Vocal Creator of the Year (2023) π
β€οΈ Erythrophile β€οΈ
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π€ Elegantly Disturbed Mind π€
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FPS: The Last Flame Challenge Winners
Welcome to our first Winners Announcement of the year and to the final challenge in the Fall Poetry Series. The Last Flame invited writers to sit with endings, using fire as a central image to consider what remains when something burns out: ash, warmth, memory, silence, or the faint promise of what comes next. The strongest pieces treated endings as gradual rather than sudden, allowing them to flicker, dim, and linger.
By Vocal Curation Team6 days ago in Resources
Comments (43)
Poor old man. And his meat must have been tough, I imagine. Bon appΓ©titβ¦ blΞΉehβ¦ Iβm going to throw up. Wonderful β you really managed to unsettle me.
Winston never got caught, that awful, awful man. Thankfully little boy Jim laughed at him after he got stoned thrown his way. I like the sing song rhythm in this. It fits the story you're telling. I don't think I've heard the word 'mar' before, or if I have, not often enough. Staying hidden. The four syllables here. Brings out the childlike adventure blend. 'Mrs milton' nice transition, keeping with the beat and rhythm. Wait. What was for dinner? Oh no. Oh my gosh. No. Now this exceeded all my expectations. Fantastic work Dharr π€β€οΈ
Never mess with a child. Mothers will find a way. Very good poem
Crazy, but a good lesson to not mess with people or their children. Love the rhythm of this one, makes it lighthearted. ππ€£
This poem is a darkly whimsical, wickedly surprising cautionary tale! The sing-song rhythm builds suspense, leading to a truly shocking twist. Old Man Winston's fate is gruesomely poetic--revenge served very well done! ππ«‘ππ«‘π»
Ok mom!!!! I love ittt! A cautionary tale, I'd do the same lolol..I think this will be perfect for the May collection ;)
Whoa! Poor Winston! Now message: Be careful who you cook with! Phew!
Why do I fall for it EVERY time??? I am your patsy Dharrsheena--an easy mark π This one though--the ending--wasn't so hard to swallow. Kinda cool with a touch that only YOU have π Clever!
I love the cadence and imagery of this one. As always so well done!
This ended up being not what I thought it would be, but I guess I should have suspected the twist after reading your stories Dharrsheena! I like the clever depiction of a motherβs love (protective), and this reads like a cautionary childβs tale.
This made me laugh, My Morbid Friend. Never underestimate the protectiveness of a good mother.
Oh wow!!!! Was not expecting the cannibalism angle here, Dharr, but I absolutely adore it! The flow of the verse for your story here was intoxicating (though maybe that's just my New Year's hangover talking lol) My brain isn't firing on all cylinders today but I had an absolute blast reading this!
I think this was written just before I came back to Vocal. I'm sorry I missed it then, but very glad to have read it now. What a nice, dark tale. Now I'm on my way to read Donna's followup!
I should apologize, if this story is suddenly getting a lot of reads.... it's me reading and gathering up the details for the project you and I talked about! πβ€οΈ
Mrs Milton is like Mrs Lovett.
I'd say the old fart had it coming, but that poor kid! LOL! GREAT poem! π€©
Oh my!! I should expect the twist but I don't! Will I learn?ππβ€οΈπ
ahhhh ! scarry I will skip my breakfast today hahaha ! π§‘ππ
Round two and this is just as great as it was the first time!!! Even thought I knew the twist I was still excited to see it coming!! Great work D!! Too bad the tales retold is closed, w could have entered our Humpty Dumpty rehash!! π
Dharrsheena, I love the rhyme scheme and mood of this poem! It feels playful and child-like but also dark and twisted. It reminds me of those very old nursery rhymes I heard as a child. They all end in a similar gruesome manner. I appreciate the add-in of humour with the dark theme! Such a piece!
Great end, dark and funny!
Awesome β€οΈπ
Brilliant work Dharrsheena!!!!
Wow!!!π
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