MEAN

What does it mean to be a girl?

Where do I /start/?

Was it when I was conceived?

When my mother’s X and my father’s X came together, that's what science led me to believe.

Or was it when my mother began to show,

And her friends would all ask ‘Do you know?

If it's a girl or a boy, pink or blue?’ Who knew that while I was still in her womb,

Her answer would determine the color of my room, the color of my clothes, or the gender that I chose,

Or the toys that I played with?

Why did I like Barbies so much more than Hotwheels?

I saw on TV little boys playing with trucks and G.I. Joe and I thought "Oh no,

I don't look like them so I shouldn't be playing with the toys that they're playing with."

I saw on TV little girls just like me playing with Barbies and baby dolls and I thought,

"That's what I should be playing with.’

And those Barbies and babies taught me what beauty was and what my job was meant to be.

What does it mean to be a woman?

/Where/do I start?

Well, you're a woman when you start to menstruate, of course.

So I waited and watched as my friends became women before I did but I developed breasts before they did.

I was shamed for being the first one,

Having my bra straps pulled by the popular, flat-chested ones.

Shamed for being the first to develop breasts /and/ shamed for being the last to stain my dress.

How does that make sense, at best?

And does that really /even/ make me a woman?

Am I limited to having breasts and menstruating?How degrading.

And what about dating?

Am I a woman when I'm intimate with a man?

Huh, try getting noticed by one first.

But that's next to impossible when I'm /surrounded/ by women who are taller, thinner, prettier than me;

Sticking out like a sore thumb in a sea of standard beauty.

My friends complain about being harassed in the street.Getting cat-called and whistled at is something they hate.

And here I am,

Jealous,

Because I can't relate.

How f***ed up is that?That I would rather be objectified than ignored altogether.

But attention is attention, for worse or for better.

When I finally began to get the attention that I craved,I put myself in situations rather grave.

I mistook attention for affection, and affection for being used.

But that's what I thought it meant to be a woman.

I was so confused.

It's taken me /years/ of reflection and positive affection

To create myself,

To educate myself,

To reformulate

What being a woman means to me.

Today, to me, being a woman 

No longer means being used.

It no longer means pink,and Barbies, and baby dolls.

It no longer means perfection.

To me, being a woman means whatever I want it to mean,

And I want it to mean strength:

I will not tear down my fellow woman, rather, I will build her up.

I want it to mean recognition:

I will not ignore my fellow woman, rather, I will see her and pay attention to her.

I want it to mean empowerment:

I will not silence my fellow woman by speaking and acting on her behalf, rather, I will empower her to speak and act for herself.

I want it to mean dignity:

I will not degrade my fellow woman out of jealousy or spite, rather, I will respect her and all that she stands for.

I want it to mean individuality:

I will not force my fellow woman into a box or blend her into a sea of faceless women, rather, I will value her and accept her for all that makes her stand out.

I want it to mean opportunity:

I will not hinder my fellow woman from achieving her goals by competing with her, rather, I will push her to pursue great opportunities even if they are greater than my own.

I want it to mean creativity:

I will not limit my fellow woman to one form of creative expression, rather, I will support her in whatever way she chooses to express herself.

As there are infinite definitions of feminism, so there are infinite definitions of womanhood

And I choose these definitions to live by

Because I want to live in a world

Where “Women” is not just a word.

I want it to mean

Our voices are being heard.

***A note from the creator***

I was honored to perform my feminist manifesto (from memory)at the "Slamming The Patriarchy" slam poetry event presented by UMcraft at the University of Manitoba on January 22, 2019.

My poem and those of 13 other talented creators were grouped into four categories based on their content. The first three poems dealt with relationships. The next three poems focused on survival. The next four poems covered stigma. Lastly, the final four poems (including my own) highlighted resistance.

Between each set of performances, there was an opportunity for the audience to ask the performers questions, followed by an intermission. When asked what inspired me to write my poem, I explained that it started as creative assignment for a class that I had taken the year before for my social work degree - Feminist Perspectives in Social Work Practice. It was one of the best courses I had ever taken. I learned so much about myself.

The assignment in question allowed me to reflect on what being a woman meant/means to me. I chose "MEAN" to be the title as the word itself takes on different meanings depending on the context in which it is used (e.g. "What do you mean?" vs. "You're being mean."). Similarly, I reflected on how my idea of what it meant to be a woman evolved throughout different stages of my life. For example, from a biological context I was taught that a girl becomes a woman when she begins to menstruate. However, I was also taught from a Jewish perspective that a girl becomes a woman when she has her Bat Mitzvah - when she reads from the Torah (Old Testament) and becomes accountable for her actions. Well, it just so happened that I had my Bat Mitzvah before I began to menstruate. I was a woman in the eyes of my God, my family, and my Jewish community before biology had anything to say about it.

Prior to taking that course, I wasn't comfortable using the word "feminism", let alone labeling myself as a feminist - I had been conditioned to believe that being a feminist was radical and frowned upon. I can only imagine how many other women feel trapped by similar religious dogma, let how many women are unaware of their own oppression. Today, I am proud to call myself a feminist, and I try to live every day by this anthem that I've created for myself. I hope that my feminist manifesto inspires other women to question and even challenge any oppressive systems they may be involved in. Most of all, I hope that my feminist manifesto inspires other women to live their most authentic lives.