lost and searching

i see trees as they bend at the boughs and reach for the clouds.

why can’t i be that?

why can’t i see that?

i want to fly with the birds and scream across canyons that

i am real.

or tell my mind that my soul is dark and i can’t find the light switch

in the corner with the mice and the rats

and the webs of spider-silk

spun from gold by that strong warrior.

the warrior with hands so soft they slipped through mine before I’d even touched them and

eyes so dark the night is their muse.

tell me then why i can’t see the sun.

why the sky quakes beneath my feet and

crows scratch my eyes until i am blind.

why the sword i was gifted has rusted with age and

the moon is strangled by thorns of iron and steel.

tell me then

who i am to become.