Loss

They say loss cannot be written

Only felt by those who are forced to feel it

And though there might not be a good way to say it

There are those who wish to describe the broken way

Their heart hangs by a thread

Ready to separate at a single term or phrase

That could utterly tear them apart at the seams

There are people who sit on their beds

Wanting nothing more than to cry their inner emotions

To people that they think they trust

But don’t for fear of being judged,

Of being hated for the way they feel

So instead they sit alone, wishing for interaction,

But knowing in the darkest parts of them

That they won’t be able to really participate

So they lay awake on sleepless nights

Driving themselves deeper into their hurt

Until their pain becomes too much to bear

And they choose to sink into the pillow of the darkness

That refuses to release them

Never to wake again in the morning

She used to have a loving life

But fate decided that one link of the chain be broken

Scattering the rest into pieces on the ground

Dropping further and further away from sight

Leaving the house empty with only pain and weak watery smiles

To half-ass fill the places that used to be full

Leaving the school a battleground where people couldn’t possibly understand

Becoming cruel when they lose patience while trying to give false hope

Turning on the very one that they use to tell secrets to

And instead becoming the monsters that they swore they would defend against

Deciding that they wanted nothing more to do

With the one that became just a black smudge

On their own days full of happiness

And she never fought back against their anger and cruelty

For she felt terrible for being the thing that ruined their days

When all she wanted was to try to claw her way out of her misery

Instead of staying in the deep black hole that seemed to slowly swallow another piece

And drag her deeper into the quicksand that they called depression

She juggled with the sadness and loneliness that started to grow too big to handle

Finding it harder to balance on the thinning path that was quickly becoming a thread

With the thin line leading to the future

And the empty space all around leading to a deeper place that could never be escaped

Many fight this battle

Putting on every piece of armor and using every weapon they own

To try and keep at bay the darkness with red eyes that wore familiar faces

As it slowly pushed us back against the wall

Denting our armor

Breaking our weapons

Beating us down until all we wanted to do was get down on our knees

Beg for mercy

But know that we wouldn’t get any

And yes some of us had gotten to our knees with bloody wounds

With tears splattering the faces of our subconscious in a way that we would never show the world

And at that point some of us pressed our faces into the ground

And the darkness of anger, sadness, loneliness, regret and hurt

Would bury us in the desert of loss with the last of our loved ones to mourn us

But there are others

Others, that despite our wish to give up

Have some part of them force them to their feet with their last defense

Managing to keep at bay the dark parts of themselves

And gather some pieces of their subconscious back together

Long enough to start to heal

To have long scars cover their souls as they start traveling the thread again

They learn to keep themselves together well enough

To find a way back to people who can care for them again

And become part of the social world with human beings all around

Though they may be called a hope and a good friend

They always have doubt eating at the back of their minds and clinging to their hearts

From the times that they couldn’t be so

Loss has a way of tearing away the parts of us

That see the world in pretty colors with sparkles

Pulling the veil away from our eyes to see that the world can be grim and cruel

We may have fought sadness before on our own

But loss can come in all sorts of disguised demons

Whether we have lost family, friends, pets, or lovers,

And not just in death but in broken bonds and miscommunications

All loss is a pain to our hearts, no matter how great or small

For there is no way to compare the pain of loss to one another

It isn’t a competition to say who is in more pain than others

Loss is just a pain that we can all relate to

Whether we felt it in the past, the present, or have yet to encounter it in the future

It strikes us all at one point in our lives

And though loss is something that drags us down

There is always good that comes out of it

Some kind of good that you can look back on and say

“I have overcome this”