Losing Myself

There are days when strength isn't enough, heroism is a lost cause, and doing the right thing can hurt more than a thousand wrongs committed. I look into that mirror every day and wait for an answer to a question I've been asking for decades. "Who am I now?"

I don't smile as much anymore. The music doesn't feel the same. My world is full of craziness and every time I close my eyes to think, I see the same sign.

"Proceed with caution"

I live in a world of darkness, and every time light threatens to break through, I hear the laughter from my demons break through the silence like a brick through a looking glass. I am shattered inside and every broken piece of me looks up in pain waiting for me to bring it all together again.

When all is quiet, the silence speaks volumes and all I can do is listen helplessly. I used to blame everyone but myself when I was young, now I can only point the finger at the mirror and scream at myself.

"You did this to me!!"

The hurt swells inside me like a storm, and the sun refuses to shine through. I have banished myself to the shadows of my own despair and I'm no better for it. Broken, tormented, and unyielding in my world of self hatred. I am alone in this wasteland created by my own nightmares. Words don't bring me comfort, the music holds no meaning, and the tears wash away what'd left. A cleansing of all that was good in me seeps into the ground as if being buried. My demons laugh even more and continue their torment of me

"Here lies the Broken One," they dance happily in the darkness around me.

I claw at the ground, dirt in my hands trying to pull whatever goodness I can back to me. The shattered pieces of me cut through my hands leaving me bloodied and despaired. It's then I hear my reflection qnswer....

" You are the Broken One, hollowed and forgotten,"

"I don't want this, give me my goodness back. I refuse you, I refuse you!" I continued on my knees clawing at the ground

I hear a soft response in my heart.

"Never refuse who you are. You never lost your goodness, you only lost your way. Keep moving forward, it'll come."