Live without pain

I tried so hard 

to live without pain

But there was no gain

on living that way

there is a spectrum of human emotions

joy, sorrow, a shame, 

happiness, sadness,

and other mess 

is like a river flowing in our mind.

Every day a new way to live, 

a new try to be pleased.

But here me on these

when I see pain coming

I always ran away

I block all the emotions,

and say: You are like a child, my man 

You're going to be so fucked if you stay.

You're are afraid

There is some possible outcomes, 

my brain said

if crying is what you're looking is ok

but you shouldn't be so open

with your hearth, babe.  

What can happen after a heartbreak?

Is not easy to say but to me meant mess. 

What could be next? 

Could you help?