Self Help: Grifters' Gospel

On Self-Help, Snake Oil, and the Illusion of Change

Psychology professionals and students can be imagined on two opposite sides of a line called self-help books: likely a larger group opposes pop-science and step-by-step manuals filled with talk of success, journaling, and not giving a f**k; others love them, but they aren’t many.

While I don’t believe in any character traits being derived by the alignment of stars on the day of my birth, you can think of me, especially in the past, as the Gemini I am: ambiguous, against it when in need of a boost to my superiority complex, and all for reading things like Change Your Mind and Get Rich (random name, but there may very well be a book with that title) when hit by necessity or inferiority.

Right now, I want it. I desire that spark of magic, that click of intuition falling in place like the cog my life needed to change for the better. I am tired and can only imagine how nice it would be to Change, Be Who I Want, and find myself Bouncing Back.

Knowledge, Tools, and the Birth of Snake Oil

Knowledge is the tool of tools: it’s the stone with which we sharpen our knives. But everything good can be used for bad. Humans evolved and survived thanks to the ability to make tools, but we never knew we would be able to manipulate almost anything, if we tried hard enough.

If we had never known the power of medicine, we would have never fallen for snake oil. If meditation didn’t help people through recovery and calmness, we wouldn’t have so many falling for spiritual diets, kundalini awakenings, and chakra bracelets.

On the flip side, we can also be manipulated. It is so easy to fall for cults, scams, or a mix of both. We like solutions, easy fixes, and charismatic people. Some of the things that get — rightly so — a bad reputation are the same things that can help us build a healthy, wealthy (if that’s important), and calm life.

Religion itself may be the strongest contender for the cup of scams. But there are also religious and philosophical people who truly care only about finding spiritual solace. It is as if humans have a broken compass when it comes to understanding what is good and what isn’t, especially if the line between the two appears blurry. Alas, some things can become clear with a little research and general scepticism.

Don’t you want to be happy? What about being your best self?

Manifesting, Hustling, and Magical Thinking

As seen in many self-help books (take Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, arguably the most successful self-help con I know of), we’re told we can manifest just about anything. This line of thinking insists that whatever energy you put out will inevitably come back to you. Think wealth, and you’ll be rich. Think love, and your soulmate will appear. Think about growing a second thumb on your right hand and… well, will it happen?

“You are the master of your destiny. You can influence, direct, and control your own environment. You can make your life what you want it to be.” — Hill

Not every self-help book believes in the law of attraction so blatantly, but many pop-psychology and spiritual books work in similar tones.

Sports books and financial psychology books tend to reassure readers that if they really want it and truly work for it, success will follow. Concentrate on the ball with enough zen and see yourself hitting it, and you’ll be the next Ma Long.

In the self-help industry, simply saying the opposite of popular advice can make someone seem bold and independent. If on Mars people just desire and receive, then what about on Venus? People hustle, grind, and earn what they want through sheer perseverance. This perspective is more grounded than magical thinking, and some books do offer valuable insights into the long-term effects of consistent effort. Titles like Grit and Mindset can help broaden perspective. But even the good ones tend to overgeneralise or overlook context: people’s lives, environments, economic capabilities, education, and more.

I suspect books tackling specific issues (like dementia, youth mental health, or caregiver support) are more genuinely helpful than those promoting vague optimism or relying on shaky data.

Action Faking and the Toolbox Fallacy

There is an actual effect, though largely placebo, in thinking positively. Believing that things will work out can reduce stress, improve focus, and boost motivation, which in turn can lead to better outcomes simply because you’re more likely to take action and persist. It’s not magic, it’s psychology. Still, this effect has limits.

As Rami Gabri writes:

“Without putting time into the physical mechanics of tennis, I would have no chance, even if I was the Dalai Lama…”

Reading Grit, I felt the motivation and drive to pursue my dreams. It almost felt like I was on the right path. But it wasn’t a path, it was a treadmill.

Posting about my weight-loss goals, buying all the tools I needed to become a good travel photographer, organising my calendar — it all gave me a sense of pride. But it was action faking. The book makes you feel like you are taking the steps described in it. But you haven’t.

When Self-Help Actually Helps

Scepticism should be at the back of our minds when approaching books that promise wonders. But not all self-help is bad.

Psychology Today reports that targeted reading can cut depression symptoms in adults over time. In the UK, Reading Well offers curated book lists recommended by health professionals.

If we consider the app DARE a self-help tool, I would defend some exceptions in the genre. I rely on its SOS button during panic attacks.

Vulnerability, Ideology, and the Cost of Hope

Vulnerable people are especially susceptible to manipulation. A key hook is the eureka moment — feeling like you finally get it.

Most self-help books and gurus thrive on the promise of changing your life if you follow the right steps. As self-improvement grew into a global industry, its messaging began to mirror religious salvation narratives.

One size does not fit all.

As Audre Lorde said:

“There is no such thing as a single-issue struggle because we do not live single-issue lives.”

Happiness is an all-time favourite of the self-help industry and an all-time least favourite of mine.

Self-help increasingly splits along gendered lines. What starts as personal growth turns into performative masculinity.

It’s ridiculous and dangerous.

A Modest Proposal: Scepticism

Just vetting the messenger isn’t enough. Data is often stripped of context. I’m not immune.

How do we find solutions? Where do we draw the line?

For now, I think we should go with Socrates and ingest, every day, a good dose of scepticism.

People lie easily.