Like Sunlight on Skin
Remembering His First Cry
Lying there in the cold,
sterile room.
Harsh fluorescent lighting
in my eyes.
Holding my husband’s hand.
Surrounded by doctors and nurses.
The music from our birthing playlist
softly plays in the background.
Shrill hospital beeps
rudely interrupt my calming melodies.
I have so much equipment hooked up to me,
I don’t feel human anymore.
They've cut me open,
at least I think they have.
I don't feel anything,
except disjointed.
Numb, awake, uneasy.
***
My lips are dry.
My husband points out they are blue,
and a moment of panic cuts through me.
The doctors brush it off,
tell him to apply lip balm.
***
I go back to staring at the blue
surgical drape obstructing my view.
***
I've thought about this moment
so many times.
What if something goes wrong?
What if I don't hear that cry?
Everyone stressed how important the cry is;
I’ve built it up so much in my mind.
***
They tell me,
“We’re almost there.”
***
I feel a sharp tug,
a reminder:
someone’s hands are inside of me.
As if I could forget.
***
Then I hear it,
a single “Waah.”
My first thought:
Is that cry enough?
The doctors assure me
he's perfect.
***
I don’t realise I’ve been holding my breath,
until I let it out in a long sigh.
***
A flood of relief hits me like
warm sun on my cold skin.
The tension has dissipated.
***
The rest of my life has just arrived.
About the Creator
Sandy Gillman
I’m a mum to a toddler, just trying to get through the day. I like to write about the ups and downs of parenting. I’m not afraid to tell it like it is. I hope you’ll find something here to laugh, relate to, and maybe even learn from.
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Comments (48)
Very nice. Very personal.
Was on my way to read part two of your Christmas story and got distracted by this one; I’m glad I was. Father of three over here. You summed up all of the anxiety and excitement surrounding birth so succinctly— especially with ‘a single waah.. is that enough’ Ugh! My heart! Hahah instantly transported back to the delivery room. Thank you for posting this!
I was lost in thought thinking about my the time I had my son. Thank you for bringing back the memories, difficult but so worth it. Love
You describe moments of pain and joy in a unique way. 🙂
Oh, Sandy, this brought back memories of the birth of our son. My wife had caesarian sections for both of our children, but our daughter's was an emergency surgery and I was not allowed in the operating room. Longest 20 minutes of my life. Beautifully written and fully captures the terror and joy of the birth.
This is so relatable and so powerful, how you done this with your Writting, the flow fantastic, wow I felt I was there. Thank you so much for sharing this. Amazing work Sandy.
Great one..
Nice writing ❤️
That's just beautiful, Sandy. My first thought: Is that cry enough? So real.
I really enjoyed this. Love the line "I don't feel anything,||except disjointed." Also love the way you convey that cold professionalism of hospital staff. They're not all like that, but my wife and I encountered that as well. The uncertainty about being cut open is powerful. "As if I could forget." hits hard. Really nice work.
Congratulations on this suspenseful poem — “Top Story!”
“Someone’s hands inside of me As if I could forget” Love the whole thing, this is my favorite line! Thanks for sharing that experience
what a lovely joyful emotional poem, you brought tears to my eyes.
That was a rollercoaster of nerves, anxiety, uneasiness, uncertainty, relief, joy and stillness. I held on to every word in hopes it got better for you. I am so relieved. This is beautiful.
I have not reached this point in my life yet, but this is a beautiful portrayal of your experience that makes it real for someone who hasn't yet been in your shoes. Absolutely wonderful.
Thank you for sharing your birthing journey with us. Incredibly beautiful poem. I wish we’d thought of having a birthing playlist
That feeling of the warm sun after a long night. So beautifully put. Belated congratulations on the TS. I lose track of stuff I have read and felt sure I had previously read and commented on this one. Well done and good luck with the challenge
The rest of your life has arrived,
Wonderful. Congratulations Sandy 🦋🦋🦋🦋
Oh, so beautiful— an intense experience with such a sweet ending 🥹
Awww so beautiful. A very heartwarming story.
Fantastic work! It would mean a lot to me if you could spare a moment to read my story – I'm hoping to connect with more writers on this platform.
Love the summary
Very lovely, so many mothers would agree. Congrats everywhere.
wow,, i wanna learn from you!!!