Kinesis

So much potential!

Isn’t that what they say?

Every report card, every parent-teacher conference.

The hesitation, the breath of fear,

That chokes creativity

And refuses to even try.

I know it well,

The anti-muse,

The curse of ADHD,

That smothering inactivity.

A brain freeze without the sweetness of the ice cream

That precipitated its existence,

Mind blanks out, vision goes white screen,

No input.

No emotion, but despair.

Why listen? What can others say

That is worse than the feedback you’re giving yourself?

Lazy?

Inattentive?

Please. You’ve called yourself much worse.

The fog doesn’t lift

Just because someone speaks encouraging words in a lilting voice.

I’ve been there.

I don’t know what I’m waiting for,

But when it comes, it is blessed relief-

A lightning bolt, a mental reboot,

A surge of energy-awakening synapses.

A fresh perspective?

A new way to put the parts together?

A fresh cup of tea?

A swift kick in the arse?

(Apply that last one responsibly. Local rules and regs may pertain.)

Whatever shape your impetus takes,

Whatever form your inspiration manifests,

Looking blindly at the pieces of your project

And seeing them magically re-form

From bits and materials and abstract patterns

Into a Thing, a Glorious Thing,

Sweat and effort and angst and aaaargh

Into a creation.

Your creation.

You made this.

You made this!

That feeling?

That tidal wave of relief-soaked serendipity

Propelling you forward,

Reaching for tools and supplies-

Bank it.

Cherish it.

Spend it lavishly

On the next project, and the next,

Because it comes back threefold, sevenfold,

A weapon, a shield, a safe house,

When the next oily tentacle of executive dysfunction

tries to throttle your creativity.

It will come,

And you can forge the tools

To drive it away

Again and again.

I’ve been there.

You’ve been there.

Reach out,

Keep trying.

It’ll come to you.