JENNY HOLZER 1991

JENNY HOLZER 1991

in a dream you fucked my revived corpse and you were full of empty. rigor mortis tender, no recognition, no regard. face down and wishing on dead stars that i could return to the soil that gathers neath my fingernails. how are these yellowing calcium crescents, so delicate, so fragile, a reminder of something so solid as death. is death solid? no, the ether’s veil doesn’t last. i resurrect every time. yes, lucid i’m here again with your dry palm on my deaf ear holding me down to the filthy sheet in a musty room full and empty. full and empty. full and empty. lovelessness.

this never happened. this happened many times. i am so tired. dirt i am and to dirt i will return.

in a dream i saw a way to survive and i was full of joy. when the yule bush growing from the concrete barrier and the fluorescent green sign for sun city, next right, beckon me i will come. i will close my eyes and let my wheel veer into the soil. i will freefall into our little yellow dwarf. let the fungi and the fire chew me up and spit me out. let them lick their lips and belch offensively and then join them like a disciple at the table. the wolf spider on the satanic cross spells “it’s time” with its quicksilver silk. what is this vast web? has it come for me or you?

this never happened. this happened many times. i am so alive. dirt i am and to dirt i will return.