It’ll all end.

Why does the good have to come with the bad? Why does an amazing beach day come with a day full of hatred and abuse? Why? Why does a rare pain free day come with many days filled with so much pain, physical and mental? Why does the pain have to be visible on the surface of the skin? Why am I so unable to keep it from the world that I live in? Why can’t I just take an eraser and erase the bruises and handprints left on my fragile body so the world doesn’t realize that the brave strong front I put up isn’t a lie? Why does the world need to see the physical pain I endure just to live a somewhat normal life at home with my family? when will it end? it will end. It’ll all come to an end when I finally get the strength to face my abuser. When I finally get the courage to leave the comfortable but painful life I once lived to start a new better and pain free life with my family to come. It’ll all end the moment I know my daughter is in dangers way like I have been since I was old enough to have panic attacks. She’ll have the life I have always thought was just a dream. Once I’m ok, she’ll be ok. If it, no, it will all end. It’ll end with me. The physical and mental pain, it’ll all end.