Inside

“you have nothing to worry about”

you continuously tell me

“those thoughts are made up”

you reassure me

“you know that’s not true”

you repeat constantly

if they aren’t real,

then why do they feel so heavy

on my chest

in my heart

throughout my soul.

the overwhelming feeling

you say is only in my head,

in my head?

the thoughts that keep me up

the thoughts that flood through my head daily

I wish it wasn’t me

I wish I could believe when you say,

“I’m never leaving”

I know

but in my head,

I don’t know.

it may seem like I’m exaggerating

or overeating

but no one can truly comprehend the feeling

unless you climb in

and shuffle your way through the mess of my head.

the thoughts that make me shake

the thoughts that make me nauseous

the never ending feeling you’ll leave

the never ending insecurities

“am i enough?”

“i don’t do enough for him”

“he deserves more”

more than these thoughts will let me give

trying my best

but

my best can’t be good enough

cuz there’s always better

“so be better”

i’m trying.