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In formation

Molecules on the brink

By Sam SpinelliPublished 3 months ago β€’ Updated 2 months ago β€’ 2 min read
Winner in The Sound of First Frost Challenge
In formation
Photo by Osman Rana on Unsplash

When the temperature plummets

The wild ones settle down

Those in flight lose their momentum, they seek a place to land and regroup

Condensing on anything cool and smooth

Those phrenetic ones

Those little buzzing kinetic ones

Those party molecules

Who roil and roam with their fellows,

They stop their raves

For now they only have the energy to

Mill about

They begin to line up

Outside your window

For the Great Calm

They get in formation

Not for battle but for your information

They crystallize

On the pane

And they shimmer in the starlight

All to tell you

You

Should

Stay

Under

Your

Blankets

Those molecules

They still have a pulse, but they won’t rave or fly again,

Not until the sun comes next Spring

They have formed rigid marriages,

Like fairy-sized gemstones

Because that’s the way they like to freeze.

They click and clack as they huddle in step

A billion tiny firecrackers

Lining up side by side,

Rank and file

And in the grass

Below your window the frost creaks as it claims the fallen leaves

The moisture has all left the air, there is only oxygen and nitrogen

And all of it chilled to an electric blue

Crack your window:

Can you smell it?

The air is pure of all water

Zero percent humidity

Except where you breathe,

Plumes of dragon smoke rush from your lungs to the dry, empty air

Breathe it in,

Cold,

Scratch some of the frost with your thumbnail

If you were to go outside, into the night,

You’d crunch the frosted leaves beneath your slippers

There is a puddle out there

With a layer of glass over its surface

And an ocean of liquid water underneath

A puddle

The model

Of Jupiter’s moons

If you were to

Step

Gently,

Just hard enough to crack the ice

But not hard enough to plunge your toes into the frigid sea,

You would see the space

Beneath your shivers

Beneath your slipper

Beneath your soul

And beneath your sole

Where molecules are on the brink

The tipping point

These waters are the last remnants of fall, holding out against the steady approach of winter

And if you were to press an ear to the cold surface

Maybe you would hear them

Molecules

Clicking and clacking

Clicking

And

Clacking

Into formation

The waters are losing

They are freezing

This puddle will not last the night

Free Versenature poetry

About the Creator

Sam Spinelli

Trying to make human art the best I can, never Ai!

Help me write better! Critical feedback is welcome :)

reddit.com/u/tasteofhemlock

instagram.com/samspinelli29/

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Comments (38)

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  • Natalie Wilkinsonabout a month ago

    Congratulations on the win. This poem made me smile.

  • RAOMabout a month ago

    Many messages from this poem. Using nature in a clever way to speak about truths beyond it. A unique technique.

  • Tyabout a month ago

    I love how you bring it back to the puddle

  • Well deserved win! This is a delightfully intriguing poem! I especially like: β€œ Plumes of dragon smoke rush from your lungs to the dry, empty air Breathe it in, Cold,β€πŸ’–

  • Kera Hollow2 months ago

    Congrats on winning the contest! It was well deserved. I adored how your poem used senses on an atomic level!

  • Ah congrtulations Sam! Brilliant. Loved the repetition part with 'Those' and that ending line feels so sad.

  • John Cox2 months ago

    I love the blend of science, art and the senses in your poem, Sam. A kinetic and eclectic masterpiece! Congrats on the win. Richly deserved!

  • Gabriel Huizenga2 months ago

    Brilliant, vivid, magical work, Sam!! This is such a well-deserved win; every last molecule of your wordsmithing is stellar, here. :)

  • Lamar Wiggins2 months ago

    Outstanding, my friend! So happy for you! And the fact that you included bits of science, elevated this even more for me. Super congrats to you!

  • John R. Godwin2 months ago

    Congratulations on the win. It's so well deserved. You have a unique take on the challenge that's also extremely well crafted and uses rich language and effective line breaks. "Those phrenetic ones...Those little buzzing kinetic ones..." what a great phrase. Really wonderful read. Well done!

  • Marilyn Glover2 months ago

    Sam, congratulations on your win! I love the imagery; fairy gemstones, firecrackers, clicking clacking molecules, dragon's smoke- well doneβ£πŸ‘πŸ₯³

  • What a brilliant way to give life to what we often deem lifeless -

  • Wooohooooo congratulations on your win! πŸŽ‰πŸ’–πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸ’–πŸŽŠ

  • Harper Lewis2 months ago

    Badass. I love this.

  • Pamela Williams2 months ago

    Congratulations! This is a pleasure to read.

  • Michele Nampalli2 months ago

    Congratulations 🎊 I love the molecule "clicking and clacking" imagery. science meets art ❀️

  • Congratulations on your win Sam β˜ΊοΈπŸ‘πŸΎπŸŽ‰

  • Congratulations!

  • Tiffany Gordon2 months ago

    πŸ‘πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎ Congratulations Sam!

  • sleepy drafts2 months ago

    This is beautiful and unique! Congratulations, Sam!!

  • Melissa Ingoldsby2 months ago

    Congrats on your winning piece it’s palpable in its intensity and you def deserve it!

  • Tim Carmichael2 months ago

    Congratulations Sam!

  • Natasha Collazo2 months ago

    also that last night brought all of the rest home. So deserved

  • Natasha Collazo2 months ago

    WOO HOO! GO SAM! This was wonderful

  • Matthew J. Fromm2 months ago

    Oh wow Sam this was well deserving! Congrats! How I wish I was under some blankets right now

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