Imposter

My shame drives me

my pain twists me

I’ve got nothing to hide, except for other people’s secrets

Guarding those secrets at the expense of my integrity

Lying, covering, pretending to be what others want me to be

so they can continue to see what they want to see in others

duplicity confuses my compass

the crazy lady unable to balance the light and dark

the weight of the lie

pressure of the pretense

“Don’t tell” the constant theme

Paranoia strangles my throat and sanity

choking off reality, air, honesty, and integrity

a time bomb of barely contained fear and shame

an explosion creating destruction and chaos and pain to the innocent

An entire lifetime of protecting betrayal

taking away others’ shame

increasing mine

no idea how to be genuine anymore

I’m a stranger to me

Guilty of a sham existence