I Woke Up This Morning And My First Thought Was To Leave

This morning I woke up and my first though was to leave

To fill a bag and hope it was the only baggage I’d take

and go off on my own and leave all my mistakes

in a house who’s walls could not bear the ache

of blow and blow that caused me to break

Bills piled high on the dining room table

anxiety like a tide soaking the floor to the gable

of a roof over head that has now grown unstable

if I’m here when it falls it’ll surely be fatal

I’d get in my car without planning a route

just drive and just drive till my car gives out

to stop in a field were no one can here me shout

and just cry and just cry till my eyes make a drought

I’d lay in that field and just be one with the weeds

to bleed in the soil and water the seeds

to give into that desperation and quell the fatigue

and let that voice know that I do concede

I got up this morning to the alarm blaring loud

and the fact I even got up, should make me proud

the voice in my head hangs down like a shroud

giving into its will, well that’s something I can’t allow

I woke up this morning and couldn't find it in me to leave

so I got up and got dressed with my arms in both sleeves

putting one foot in front of the other is a lot to achieve

but this day will be better, is something I have to believe