I'm Finally Free

I lay silently in bed, swallowed by the dark,

Eyes peeled open, untamed thoughts leaving a mark,

Every lingering interaction, my mind consumed,

Each memory fresh like an open wound,

Tears fell from my eyes,

Making me realize,

Although things are beginning to be mended,

The right of passage back into my life has not been extended,

My eyes are open to what once was and what is now,

The aftermath of my vow,

To no longer accept the hurt you do,

Because I learned there’s still a me without you,

What I mistook for a blessing was a lesson in disguise,

An upheld family facade behind lies,

Half-hearted compliments, eye-rolls I ignored,

trusting you with my secrets, my deepest accord.

You didn’t break me because you had the power to,

But it did hurt because that’s what I allowed from you,

Treachery, feigned smiles, manipulation,

Hidden truths and silent condemnation,

I hid myself away, afraid of what others would see,

Afraid of the lies you told of me,

I trusted titles, I trusted ties,

Believed in fake love, dressed as lies

But six long years of space and breath

Led me back to life from a drunken death.

Before the sun, I knew the rain,

Through prayer and growth, there’s forgiven pain,

Now I’m here, and finally free,

I’m no longer just praying for you,

But I’m also praying for me.