I Held On to You

Don't want you to know that my heart's racing—

I'm such a child, blushing at holding hands—

because you're the cute thing everyone wants

and I can't imagine you really wanting me.

*

Don't want you to see the smile on my face

because then you'll know I like you far more

than you could ever like me (it's true)—

and I want to keep my heart from being bruised.

*

Don't want you to know I'm starting to fall,

lured in by all your wit and all your talk,

and you've got me in quite the trap, dear sir,

since I can't recall ever laughing this much.

*

Don't want you to see the way my face falls

when another girl flirts in your direction—

I don't want to be that type of date, you see,

even though I know it's already too late for me.

*

Don't want you to realize I'm just another girl

waiting on cues from a boy who looks so fine

and wondering what you could ever see

in this half-broken shell I'm residing in.

*

Don't want you to know my heart's breaking

because I can't keep hold of you, not like this,

no matter how much I wish it were as simple

as holding your hand while we walk city streets.