I Fear, I Fear, I Must Disappear

Wee Norbert, my brother, robbed Idaho Fred

Now Idaho's angry--we'll both end up dead

Idaho stole it from Backgammon Bill

Backgammon took it from Hoopaloop's till

Hoopaloop's partners have had a big loss

They'll need to explain it to Hoopaloop's boss

Dear me, you see, it's a great deal of money

Hoopaloop's boss will not find it funny

Oh why did you do it, my brother, my kin?

Now look at the terrible mess that we're in!

"Don't worry, my bro', I'll make it all right

Weird sister Wendy will take us in hand

We've got to get moving our timetable's tight

Come quickly, right now, we've no time to stand"

Weird sister Wendy, no flies are on her

She patted her cat, it started to purr

"Fatuous Norbert, my brother, my honey

Give me the money, don't try to be funny

You will not need cash, not where you're going

Now hand it to me without crying or crowing"

He gave her his roll, not part, but the whole

She started to chant up a weird incantation

The animals circled in strangest gyration

She touched her weird wand to a sycamore pole

"Warrior god, hear my true supplication

Reddest of planets and pride of creation

Rescue these humans from danger and death

Move them to safety with celestial breath"

The storm clouds all parted, a billygoat farted

My funnybone smarted, and onward she spoke

"Reddest of gods, please come to their aid

Both of these men have become sore afraid

Take them beyond, removed from this place

Take them from here to your sovereign space"

There were flashes of lightning and loud claps of thunder

Howling and growling of beasts from down under

I watched the scene with great worry and wonder

Norbert just covered his big ugly face

"Twinkle and wrinkle, and cold periwinkle,

Warrior Ares, you scion of Zeus,

I give you mandarin, cumin, and broth

Kidney of oxen and liver of goose

Warrior god, you reddest of beings

Use your great power to do this great freeing

Sheets of red lightning, fireballs of flame

Demiurge, demons, too many to name

Darklings and imps from all of creation

I summon you all with this firm incantation

"Mighty red warrior, flaming red god

Come to my aid as I humbly applaud

Come to this earth with your bold transportation

Hear my whole spell, hear my true incantation"

Crack went the lightning and crash went a tree

Demons and imps and fireballs swooped

Darklings and demons and imps nimbly scooped

I closed both my eyes as we passed through cold space

Flew through dark heavens and came to a place

We opened our eyes and stared at the stars

It's not Earth, my brother, we've landed on Mars

"But what can we do, shall we wait until light?"

We can wait until morn or wait until night

We'll wait through the dusk and the dusk dusk dusk dusk dusk

We wait for the coming... of Elon Musk