I Don’t Look in the Mirror Anymore

I don’t look in the mirror anymore

Or take pictures of my youth

I used to have a self portrait

To show I was made

In the image of you

To show I had something to prove.

There was applause

Cheers, roses thrown at the stage

But they disappeared

When it was time for me to sing

When it was time for me to express

The shouts became crickets

Calling for mates

Out in the darkness.

When it was time for me

To share my inner most thoughts

I got turned backs

Eyes closed

Ears plugged

Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil

As if I was the devil in the flesh.

When I was doing good

It was a pat on the back

Not an exclamation of greatness

When I was doing bad

It was to be expected…

An “it’s okay maybe you’re not meant for this.”

I stopped looking in the mirror

I stopped taking pictures of my youth

I stopped trying to prove

That I was something to you

Because I was losing myself

Within that image

Losing who I was

To people who could never see it.