I Am Worthy
I am deserving
I smile at the look of confusion on a friend’s face,
A friend that has always refused to take no for an answer,
So much so, that I used to feel pressured,
And say yes to all she asked — it wasn’t worth the trauma.
**
But today I gave a resounding NO,
And she stood there speechless; in utter shock,
Obviously disbelieving what she heard,
She repeated her demand for my consideration.
**
I just smiled!
**
A little giggle escapes my lips as I respond to an late invite,
An invite that treated me as an after thought,
Normally I’d grit my teeth and keep the peace,
Accepting the invite even though I felt devalued.
**
But today I text back, “Thank you, but no thank you,”
And felt an immeasurable sense of pride,
I finally stood my ground and felt my worth,
Even if they didn’t understand — leaving them perplexed.
**
I just giggled!
**
My phone rang. A beloved family member was calling,
I answered the phone in delight,
Only to be berated for my silence,
I found myself questioned, “Why haven’t you called?”
**
Well, have you considered it works both ways?
I would normally silently think to myself,
Except this time I voiced it out loud,
To the resulting silence on the other end of the phone.
**
I just chuckled!
**
I looked at the dishes sitting in the sink,
Knowing none of them were mine,
Yet they’d sat unwashed for days on end,
And I’d usually wash them on behalf of my house mates.
**
Not today!
Today I knocked on their bedroom door,
And put in a polite request,
Only to hear the response, “But, you usually do them for me.”
**
I just said “no more.”
**
These small steps at first gave me inner turmoil,
But as I took back my power I began to feel pride,
I was worthy of consideration, I did deserve better,
I am strong enough to stand my ground.
**
Sadly, some people didn’t like the fall out,
And they quietly disappeared from my life,
A hit to my heart that I silently grieved,
While an acceptance settled over my loss.
**
Others whispered in surprise,
“You have changed,”
Like it was a bad thing,
And maybe in their eyes, it was.
**
But in my eyes it was what I needed to do,
And I could proudly respond,
“Yes, you’re absolutely correct, I’ve decided to take care of me,
Rather than continue to put me at the bottom of the priority list.”
**
And that, to me, is a good thing!
Please click the link below my name to read more of my work. I would also like to thank you for taking the time to read this today and for all your support.
If you enjoy this piece, you may enjoy this one too.
Please visit my website if you'd like more information on my newly published book, Battle Angel : The Ultimate She Warrior.
Originally published on Medium
About the Creator
Colleen Millsteed
My first love is poetry — it’s like a desperate need to write, to free up space in my mind, to escape the constant noise in my head. Most of the time the poems write themselves — I’m just the conduit holding the metaphorical pen.
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Comments (6)
You go, Colleen!!!!!!!
Gosh you have no idea how much I love this because I'm on the path of learning to set boundaries and learning to say "no". As a pathological people pleaser, I find it very difficult but I'm trying. "An invite that treated me as an after thought" They don't understand how hurting and disrespectful this is. "Well, have you considered it works both ways?" It's sooooo exhausting to always be the one that's reaching out to them. "Only to hear the response, “But, you usually do them for me.” The audacity of them to take advantage of us just because we're nice! "Rather than continue to put me at the bottom of the priority list.” This is definitely a good thing!
Colleen, you are speaking as of me, thank you, Diane.
Anyone who has ever felt used or in a one way relationship can relate to this.
Very good! 👏👏👏
I feel like this could be a recipe that others, once reading, recognize and follow