Hollow tears

What's Hollow? Whats Hollow? Hollow is being devoid of all feelings and emotions. Its the uncertainty of wanting what you cant have. Its losing your place in life.

yet ar'nt we all hollow then? don't we all sit down to pray at night? we pray to know our reason.

It wasn't my fault he left. Just like my father is was outside forces and just like my mother, I bawled like a baby.

I went through two boxes of tissues and three pints of Ben&Jerry's ice cream, and of course it didn't seem to help that I was watching Ever After on repeat.

I was glued to that couch for three weeks. James came over to help but his attempts were fruitless. God forbid the one time he cares, is the one time I don't listen.I felt like the only thing that could take away this pain, would have been the roof collapsing down on my head. I sat on that bright leather couch, remote glued to my hand, ice cream in my lap, and a tissue box on the side table.

Here I was, trapped in this flamboyant barrage of colors, slightly resembling the toilet of the Kool-Aid man. My apartment was cramped, but I didn't care. I was so oblivious to my surroundings, that I never cared. I felt so selfish, But it was warranted.

In this world that shuns the type of lifestyle I lead, the type of person I am, I had finally found someone who loved me. Someone who carried themselves the same way I did, someone else whom the world shunned and they leave me to rot.

I have cried over him for too long Kevin. I have wondered why for too long. I have sat on that couch and hoped he would come back to me with open arms, only to realize that all my hard spent energy was useless. Because nobody heard me Kevin. Nobody heard my cries. Nobody was there to respond to my tears, not you Kevin. And not your brother.

I spent too long wishing for another chance with him only to realize after pissing three weeks of my life away on that couch, That I never cared. I spent three weeks wishing for something that I never wanted again. I spent Three weeks crying hollow tears.