Hollow

My mind runs blank

and all that goes through my mind are memories of you,

For fleeting seconds I miss you

Your touch, your kiss, your cologne

but then I get flashes of your actions

And I remember

I realize how hollow all my memories of you are

The love I felt for you is suddenly meaningless

The way we kissed,

With my eyes closed too tightly, I saw the stars

An Illusion

The fact that I missed you for a few seconds

It all makes me want to cry

But not because I missed you

Because I was stupid enough to fall for you and your tricks

I ignored all the red flags

All my warning signals telling my dumbass to turn around

My rose-colored glasses were super glued to my face

The sentimental part of me, deep in my heart still holds on

Wishing that in the beginning

Just maybe it was all the real

The first dates

The first kiss

Our uncoordinated headbutt

All the sweet moments that made me smile

That something happened along the way and

Maybe, just maybe I wasn't enough for you anymore ...

Maybe you got bored

But then that means I was right,

I was never deserving of your time and attention

Your love and affection

And thats all I ever wanted

To make you happy

And to feel like I was worthy,

Like I deserved your attention

And time

Your affection and love ...

But realizing how hollow my memories of you are

I see it now...

My mind running blank

Trying not to cry

because even though its ok to cry

I've done enough when it comes to you