Hidden

We used to dance to the crick

crack,

of vinyl playing from your portable turntable.

When it was time to go,

that overwhelming feeling of sadness lay,

like heat in the air,

above us.

It was mutual.

You would make yourself busy,

while I calculated how to turn back time.

Time.

It’s all I ever focused on.

Would the trip be long enough?

Could we just lie in bed all day?

maybe that’ll make time move slow.

I was always playing catch up.

In self-awareness,

acceptance,

in love.

But was I really ever behind?

Did I really not know,

the moment I saw you,

that this person,

this being with a laugh

that makes the room feel light again,

wouldn’t be a huge part of my life to come?

Did I not sit there in fear of what the future would hold?

Because I knew,

God willing,

everything was about to change?

No.

That would be a lie.

For I was never behind.

Hidden?

yes.

But that’s my biggest regret.