Hauntings

Will these ever end?

I want to forget

I don’t want to feel

Closed off from the world

Afraid to share

My secrets

My desires

My confessions

I want to share

With the closest of people

Yet find myself

Not opening up

Closing myself

In that dark room

Within my soul

To keep myself

Protected

Yet still

Feel the pain

And misery

But longing

For that closeness

For someone to understand

That little girl

Within

To satisfy that need

To believe

That everything will be alright

Happiness is

Within my reach

That someone

Will pull me off the edge

Before I fall

Into a deepness

Into the void

To feel warmth

Solace

Within

To stop the destructiveness

That I seem

Not to be able to fight

Anymore

Yet

I have to fight these demons

And will have to face them

Again from the past

In order to move on from them

Once and for all

Though I feel

It’s something I can’t

Bring myself to do

I keep coming up

With excuses

Not to do it

And frustration

When I try to search

And can’t find

What I need to know

And I need to know

Whether I have been

Just signed off

Out of their lives

Or if they even wonder

As I wonder too many nights

And wonder if ever

I could be accepted

For the path I’ve taken

And just be loved

For the person I am