Happy Merry Bloody Christmas

Christmas, not happy bloody merry Christmas,

The time of year meant for family and friends,

To share presents, company, love and laughter,

Precious memories are made, of a time you don’t want to end.

***

But then there’s the never ending dreaded office Christmas party,

The excuse for obnoxiousness and drunks,

For some unknown reason the uncouth are forgiven this day,

As you hope and pray you don’t wear their dinner in chunks.

***

You’re left smelling like a brewery from every drink you’ve worn,

As yet another colleague wants to give you a hug,

Glass tilted behind your back,

As it empties on the bare skin of your neck, was that a glass or a jug?

***

As an introvert who hates parties at the best of time,

I’ve usually had enough a week before the day,

Yet somehow I need to get through those horrid ten to twelve hours,

Of yet another agonising Christmas party, of which work will pay.

***

This year it starts at lunchtime, on a work day no less,

As you’re being paid for the first few hours, there’s no real excuse,

But as the work day ends, people are now quite drunk,

And you’re waiting for the certainty of someone’s tears and abuse.

***

It’ll be 10pm roughly before it’s acceptable to disappear,

The longest ten hours of my entire year,

Standing off to the side as I don’t really fit in,

And everybody wonders why it’s a day I fear!

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Originally posted on Medium