Happy

I know what you're all thinking, what does ice cream have to do with happiness?

Well happiness is subjective, looks different for everyone. some people prefer summertime attach it to a certain season, i prefer the feelings that come with it and what fits better on a hot summer day? ice cream ofc!

a child's favorite melty treat, childhood memories in your happy place skipping to the park sprinklers on to beat the heat...frogs that shoot out cold refreshing liquid for all the kids to merrily run around and play in. The swings that go to high, that i once fell off of cried then started laughing at myself, always afraid i was going to fly into a tree. Don't get me wrong, I've always had dark thoughts ever since i was a kid, seen things i shouldn't feelings no child should have to feel. I hated those stupid kids the older kids that would twirl the swing in twos so violently i was scared they would crash into me. remember the slides that were metal sometimes attracted heat and burned us ever so slightly as we slide or we got stuck in to much friction to slide.

i remember my moms boyfriend like a dad to me more then my own. water balloon fights making him push me on the swings i even tried to with him but i was to small and id stumble back sometimes or his butt would hit me in the face, i remember his funny jealousy and insecurity over my mom. saying i was like his daughter. my mom slipping in mud because i distracted her asking to use the potty, and scolding me while i was instructed to hide her as we walked home. funny little moments, my favorite place that'll never be replaced new York, Brooklyn to be exact...

I never used to have a favorite season..my grandmother was my muse felt like a second mom each day i spent in her tiny apartment for years was my happiest. cold winters walking outside mini snow ball fights grandma was annoyed lol. snow was up to our waist freezing still wed go out to run errands. we used to come home order takeout watch her favorite game shows. shed get me dish id watch SpongeBob, Hannah Montana drake and josh, icarly..you know all the classics in my generation.

Because I've always been a dreary child and a strange dreamer. I also loved the rainy days. Sitting outside in three slightly shielded but watching the drops hit the concrete i loved it id come out of shield to be in it feel on my skin. walking in the rain was the best coming home, cool summer breeze curtain's flying open from a mini storm cold but warm inside because i had a family that i actually loved. I always look up to my grandma because she is different hard working independent loving but hides it well except with me ofc. i loved that damn breeze literally nothing better, and the fresh air. windows open feeling it from my room to the living room, my cats rip my baby i loved one the other was an ass but still i grew up with that cat too. i was so happy and i didn't even know it.

i remember the landlord best friends with my mom me with her daughter and the biggest crush on her older brother, probably my first crush. used to find any excuse to be around him. He said he wishes i was his sister though sigh lol never told him as i was ten lol. i remember running through sprinklers setting camp in a chair under sometimes..my pink chair. my favorite though was laying in my room in the ac bed cool and pillows looking out my window seeing the tall apartment buildings across from me and all the cars sun peaking in.

Ah, on rare days when I'm not distracted i imagine those times the feelings as i remember memories in the way they felt. and i lay happy and content.