Green before it goes
Searching for light that cannot be caught
And on she runs,
Bounding across the grains in glorious strides,
Castles of sand falling under her feet,
Destined to dissolve under ravenous water.
Effortlessly she soars,
Flying for moments only,
Golden locks and salt-crusted skin.
Here now she runs, racing the shifting colours above her head,
Indigo nearly, replacing red fires.
Just in time she pushes, to catch her favourite part,
Kissed by emerald gleam, the day will fall into dark,
Light fading faster than her feet,
Melting into a tiny ball where navy waves meet dull sky.
Not quite yet though, with precious seconds still to tick.
Onward she runs,
Pumping arms and lunging legs,
Quickly now, from shells small to grasses tall,
Racing against a sleepy giant
Sliding under the cover of dusk.
Tired lungs make for tired steps,
Until she crests the final hill and finds her breath.
Valiant efforts go rewarded today,
When a tiny flash of green sparks as
Xanthous hair drapes her heavy chest.
Youthful eyes enraptured, peaceful wonder at its
Zenith.
About the Creator
Joe O’Connor
New Zealander
English teacher
Short stories and poems📚
Please be honest- I would love your constructive feedback, as it's the only way I'll get better. Would rather it was pointed out so I can improve!
Currently writing James The Wonderer
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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Comments (11)
Absolutely stunning! I remember reading your other Abecedarian that placed in the challenge and this one is just as breathtaking. I loved all the vibrancy you imbued with color: golden, indigo, red, emerald, navy, green. Incredible poem, Joe!
This is so joyous! I love it! ‘ on she runs, Bounding across the grains in glorious strides, Castles of sand falling under her feet, Destined to dissolve under ravenous water. Effortlessly she soars, Flying for moments only,’… captures the euphoric feeling of running at such a time. I had to look up the Green Flash… guessing it’s extremely elusive in Australia!😳
short but very valuable
A nice one! Good fortune for the challenge : )
Best of luck in the challenge 😁 This is a great entry. 👍
Sliding under the cover of dusk, this is my favorite line. Great work! Love it.
Impressive work!
Many beautiful lines here. Well done!
Your imageries were so vivid and evocative! It felt like I was there watching her!
I could feel the freedom of your soul, thank you for this read
Ooh cool, the green flash is one of my favorite things. (I'm not copying her, I swear, lol). This enthralled me. I went back for a second read. "Just in time she pushes, to catch her favourite part, Kissed by emerald gleam, the day will fall into dark, Light fading faster than her feet, Melting into a tiny ball where navy waves meet dull sky." Ugh, so gorgeous. You're smashing this challenge, btw.