George

How could I have

So deeply adored

Such a flawed human

Your actions; no compass

To set my course by

Many disreputable choices you made

Left a painful wake

Through those you loved

But still, such a handsome man

With piercing blue eyes

They matched your faded blue t-shirts

Faithfully worn (daily, in fact)

Always a pocket on your right breast

Bic pen secured to its inner chamber

Never bequeathed to others

Only entrusted to me, with affection

For my diner mat drawings

Truck stops punctuate

Unending ribbons of flat highway

The only place a semi can park

Without disdain; this landscape

Ruled by grizzled old men

Drinking their fifth cup of coffee

Smiling at waitresses

Who mirthfully tolerate

Rumbling banter

And inappropriate jokes

For a man with such hard hands

Your smile gentled the harshest scowl

But your booming yell

Made us scurry into hiding

The day I found my horse

Dead in the field

Bloated belly, legs skyward

I cried bitterly

Yet you had no comforting words

To soothe my child heart

Bereft of consolation

I stood alone to process

The loss of an animal so loved

But later on

You pulled me close

Gave me a belt buckle

An expression of your love language

I gave you mine, with every visit

Arms around your neck and a kiss on your cheek

Scratchy stubble scented with Old Spice

The last three days of your life

We spent cocooned together

In a rural Saskatchewan hospital

Bludgeoned by an April blizzard

Day one, we played cards

But as your body shut down

And your organs closed up shop

Your speech failed

So you listened

Squeezing my hand in agreement

A scoffing breath, your retort

In your last minutes

Grandma was nattering on with the doctor

I could see the final rise and fall

Of your chest

The last moment of our time together

Solemnity and dignified grief interrupted

By her irritating, incessant chatter

She would not shut up

Like you told her to, a thousand times before

And I laughed out loud

I swear you did it intentionally

Pissing off, for the next life

Right then

Was a joke of epic proportions

She got her vengeance, though

She hired a Yellowpages preacher, sight unseen

To deliver your eulogy

His bumbling errors and idiotic delivery

Made monumental

When he propped his leg up on the pew

Next to my grandmother's face

And proceeded to serenade her

With this terrible song

It took everything in my power

To restrain my cackling

Hand clamped over my mouth

Body vibrating uncontrollably

Dear Aunt Caroline's face, shock and dismay

At my indecorous behaviour

The best part of the whole funeral

Was your threat to your beloved wife

Dutifully executed with care

"Bury me in a suit,

And I will haunt you

For the rest of your days"

The sweater vest was the crowning achievement

That, and the embalmers

Couldn't get your dentures

Back in your mouth

Death's process cradles with care, dichotomous truths

Wailing and hysterics; a double entendre

Present in both comedy and grief

I said farewell weeks before

Beside your bed in the quiet hours

Snow suffocating all sound

Everything that came after

Was a continuation of your final prank

To cheer me up

After you were gone