Frozen

FROZEN

By: Sade Jerome

If it were possible,

I’d erase you completely from my mind.

Your memory hijacks my peace,

driving me halfway out of mine.

But even then,

my heart would still remember

Each void you filled in all the places

that I lacked

It refuses to forget

how you tossed us aside

like yesterday’s mess

without even looking back.

One moment, I was safe in your arms.

You felt like shooting

drugs

in my veins

but your love was a lie

wrapped in healing names.

It only caused me deep grief and pain.

You passed through me

like a fleeting breeze

Here, then gone.

God, give me a Time Machine, please.

White snow fell,

but you were the true freeze.

Left me colder

than any winter I’d ever seen.

More barren than the loneliest land

How could you walk away so effortlessly,

You let go of my hand

like the snap of winter air

a break so crisp, so clean?

You gave up on every dream.

I hate to admit it but,

I got on my knees.

I begged.

I pleaded.

Tore my heart from my chest,

offered it to you dripping red

Still wet and beating

Your brown eyes were empty.

How could you just watch me bleed?

Who the fuck willed us into each others lives?

This must be some sick inside joke with a bad punchline.

Or more like bad luck wrong place, wrong time.

How much more can I question my sanity or

Why'd our paths aligned

It’s you who wants to tear me apart?

To reveal something so real

just to rip it from my heart?

Over, and over, and over again.

A love built on friendship,

but essentially doomed in the end.

Yes, if it were possible,

I’d forget every second

the lust, the laughter,

the trust we beckoned.

Even if every fiber of me

Continues to ache for you

my lover whose promises

never came true.

And still…

You live in every corner of my soul,

Still learning to let you go

No matter how loud I scream,

my heart can’t call another place home.

I am frozen.