Fear

I believe fear is what robs us of all that is joyful in life

I believe fear is a voice in our heads that tells us

All the terrible things that could happen if we take a risk or make a change

It tells us not to love, that we aren’t loved, that we will never love

It tells us there is pain lurking around every corner

And to watch out because even if you can’t see it

Something awful is waiting to occur

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I believe fear is ego, stuck in the muck of pain and thwarted desires

Of unremembered experiences that have shaped us for years

And won’t let us go no matter how hard we try to escape its sticky grip

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I believe loss is the outcome of fear

Loss of love, loss of life, loss of self, loss of spirit

It saps us of everything we treasure in life

And leaves us just empty husks wandering the earth pretending to be alive

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I believe fear has many names

Hurt, depression, anger, stubbornness, righteousness, blame, guilt

These are just a few of fear’s names

But the results of these names as they are acted out in the world are the same

Alienation, separation, deprivation, incarceration, soul-starvation, self-mutilation.

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I believe even though I teach myself I can let go of fear

That I can be fearless, and fear less

I am at any moment on the edge of being engulfed

By all the fears I thought I had managed to overcome

That I am never going to be the person that I believe I could be

If I just could manage the fear and not let it manage me

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I believe that once we have internalized fear

And allowed ourselves be paralyzed by it

Fear begins to snake its way through every part of us

It finds the one or two or five places where we weakest

And snuggles in to do its work.

It eats away at hope and dreams

And sucks away the power we once had to heal

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I believe fear is a killer on all levels

It destroys families, economies, industries, and bodies

It steals our future with no you can’t and no you shouldn’t

And it taints our present with doubts and regrets.

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I believe fear is the evil that will end our world

That in the end we will die with fear as our guide

And the last voice we hear