Falling Through Her Eyes

The light had just turned red and Emerson came to a halting stop. Her eyes were glazed over and her world had just come to an end.

If she were to look hard enough, she’d see her and Drew dancing in the rain at 2 A.M. after one of the college football games.

But the light was red and she had to focus on that. If she didn’t, she’d sink into the oblivion that is pain. Once you’re there, there’s no coming back.

The glare of the red light matched the glare of pain on her heart. She’d experienced hurt before, but this — this was different. It was like the waves had forgotten how to crest and the seas had been dried up.

“Emerson, wait!” Drew had pleaded, just two days ago.

Emerson had turned around and saw the pure pain dripping from Drew’s eyes. “What do want from me, Drew?” She had asked.

Just like now, Emerson’s face had been pale and her eyes were full of confusion and hurt.

Drew had held her head low, tears dripping off her face and onto the ground. “I don’t know,” she had admitted.

The memory caused Emerson to grip the steering wheel tighter, making her knuckles turn white.

“So, what, Drew? Huh?” Emerson had snapped. Her teeth were clenched together in a harmful gaze. “You want me to give all of myself to someone who only wants me some of the time?”

Drew’s chin had quivered when she had looked up at Emerson. “I want you all of the time,” she had told Emerson. “I want you when there’s no music and no light; I want you when the days end and when the night is too long; I want you when the ships stop sailing and there’s no more fight left in the world.”

Emerson had shook her head, letting out a scoff. “None of that matters if you don’t mean it, Drew,” she had said.

Drew had walked closer to Emerson, reaching out for her, but her arms fell short. “Emerson, I-” she had tried, but her words had failed her.

The light was still red and Emerson was shaking. She’d never been good at hiding her emotions.

Emerson had stepped away from Drew. “See? You can’t even say it,” she had spit out.

Drew’s head had hung in defeat. “I’m sorry,” she had mumbled.

That was the last thing Drew had ever said to Emerson, and she’s still trying to figure out how to deal with that.

It started to downpour and Emerson liked to think that the sky was crying with her. She knew that the stars would never shine as bright as they used to and that the moon would never be as beautiful because Drew was gone.

Drew was always messy and dark, but Emerson had fallen in love with her. She’d never get to tell her that, though, and that alone was enough to ruin her.

She had seen her whole life in Drew’s eyes. When she was with her, the sun smiled and her broken pieces were whole. Although they had only kissed a handful of times, Emerson was over the moon for the other girl. She would’ve sacrificed everything for Drew, but the sad truth was that Drew most likely would never have done the same for her.

Drew was but a memory now, one that Emerson would have to relive for the rest of her days. She knew that everyone’s days on Earth were numbered, but Drew’s were cut short — like the sun only halfway rising.

The light turned green and Emerson pushed through the intersection with a wounded heart and pain-filled eyes.

For she was on the way to her lover’s funeral and the green light was far from home.