Failed Society
I was consumed by depression when I went for a walk, the walk was supposed to help. But I looked around me and words kept pouring out. I didn’t like what I saw, it didn’t make me happy. It didn’t look like a thriving society. But of course we all act like it is. 🌹Works I’ve read and loved by: Cathy (Christine Acheini) Ben-Ameh, Colleen Millsteed, Sandy Gillman, Tim Carmichael, Tanya Rosa Marie, Annie Kapur, Mike Singleton 💜 Mikeydred. In the order I’ve read them 🌹
I saw a shadow but I was not there,©️🎭
My heart beat went where nothing could be felt.
Straight face.©️🎭
Yet I stayed. ©️🎭
Leaves hurried along when the wind blew to get away.
I should've followed them and stepped off the deep end.
I smiled. ©️🎭
Debris
They came but
I wasn't blind to the freckled petals.
They weren't in the sun ray.©️🎭
A tear dropped.
Took the veil from my eyes.
Destruction within,
Everything became that which should've been burnt.
Wiped out, never to be done or said out loud.©️🎭
I yelled at the back of my throat but my mouth was shut.©️🎭
Yet these petals became law and we clothed ourselves,
So the unwell
Became the dead living in the great big
Expanding shell.©️🎭
I laughed and cheered.©️🎭
But the fact is a mirror
And I was never going to
Be made a friend.©️🎭
I held my hands up.
I closed the door to my soul.
Drifting through life
As if I were a cold ghost
On the wind.©️🎭
I dresed up in a fancy dress.
Every soul that comes by,
I let them cruise through me
Never to touch the core
Of what made me
Me.©️🎭
I smiled.
I kept swimming
As if I ever learnt how.
Breathing under a body of water so cold.
I could give in.©️🎭
Straight face.
But everything would bleed under my skin.
I would be a lesser beam hoping to succeed
At loving you.©️🎭
I held my hands up.
So the mask that I wear is a big smile on my face.
A thumbs up of praise.
While my own desire dies down in a big pot of stew.©️🎭
A tear dropped©️🎭
No house.
No kids.
I am not through.
I hate being on this cruise with you.©️🎭
I laughed and cheered.
I want to be your friend.
I don't want to be snoozed.
But if I opened up and I fell away, ©️🎭
And I settled in front of you.
Bare hands.
Weapons nowhere near.
I won't be as strapped you.©️🎭
I held my hands up.
©️🎭
So I stay in the back of the queue.
Shrunken.
Hiding in plain sight.
While my body decay and I say.
Hey it's good, it's okay! ©️🎭
~Caitlin Charlton~
*
Cathy (Christine Acheini) Ben-Ameh.
About the Creator
Caitlin Charlton
poetry too close to home
🪄~unique fictional stories 💎 you’ve never known 🪄
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Compelling and original writing
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Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
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Super Loving Moon
Dear Super loving moon, You never told me you were in the new moon phase When I looked for you, I couldn’t see the light touch my face But the stars knew ©️ ~©️🌚🌜 I was sad, that you wouldn’t see how you would shine in my eyes You were a friend to me that day I became my worse mirrored view In mind —I tried —I wished —I would find a place where I could be without show ©️ But your pull guides you close in your orbit to pose So we could see the many ways you could be lit and darkened —when you waxed and waned ~©️🌚🌜 But please Come by on October 7th over the UK Then you would be larger on the day you tease Close proximity — Face the earth when we gaze What I hope — will you be so kind — will you decide Your pull would not make —stronger ©️ The tides —of my soul— to rise —ever high To be more than I —could really —ever bear But if my plea — be not enough ~©️🌚🌜 Guide us to the faithful one who lit you before the day breaks Let us know that it will rise again when morning meets day Let not your face be red Or your light be taken But if it does ~©️🌚🌜 Let it be By the Man coming On The White horse
By Caitlin Charlton3 months ago in Poets
Comments (34)
Wow, this is so familiar... many find this relatable, but will never speak it in case their own mask slips and their comfort zone falls off. ❤️
I was hooked from the beginning. "heartbeat went where things could not be felt" There were so many lines I absolutely felt. I wish I could highlight them like I can do on Medium!! haha. Very beautiful work Caitlin, thank you for allowing me to read it!
Beautiful illustration of the suppression of our true self under the daily pressure by the world to just be "ok" everyday.
Wow! No wonder this got a TS. Beautiful! I especially like the words, "destructions within" and "Drifting through life As if I were a cold ghost." Powerful! I also enjoy how you structured this, with your reactions/motions italicized. It's also cool that you shared the works of other authors. 💜
A deeply felt "Write-it-out" moment. In catharsis...a lot better than other places. Continue to unleash what needs to be discharged and then...speak the truth--YOUR TRUTH--of what you want to happen next. And they thought it was impossible for writing to manifest words to power... Keep growing and glowing Caitlin, Top Storyan!
Caitlin, I'm sorry you were in such a dark place for this one. This brings to mind that saying "beauty is pain" and although this was relatable, painful and sad... it really was beautiful!! Belated congrats on Top Story!!
This is absolutely awesome, Caitlin. To the extreme! Your words are poignant and I love how you zap with an extra jolt using these emojis. I especially love this... <I yelled at the back of my throat but my mouth was shut.©️🎭> But *then* immediately afterwards, you write this..! <Yet these petals became law and we clothed ourselves, So the unwell Became the dead living in the great big Expanding shell.> 'These petals became law' is so original and evocative! And I love this too...! <While my own desire dies down in a big pot of stew.©️🎭> Kaput cravings in a cauldron. 😉 And that cover pic you generated is *off-the-hook* magnificent too! That alone makes me want to consider Gemini, just because of you. (I use a different free generator called Deep AI. I'm about to drop my own entry for this challenge. Seeing how brilliant this poem is, I almost don't wanna! 😂 (But I will! 🤣) This is so unique, Caitlin. You are a consummate poet. ⚡💙⚡
Marvellous and wonderfully written, Caitlin! So many lines settled within me, I will carry them forever. Breathing through cold water, the dead in a cold shell, and “fact is a mirror” is the line that brings intense clarity to our experiences. Bravo and congrats on top story!! I hope you win for this spirited and fiery creation.
I must say what an outstanding, fantastic piece such outstanding talent and for something that is so hard to write about but you done an outstanding job with such a key importance of a story to have done. Fantastic once again. Pleasure to have read this material.
Wahoo -well done, Caitlin, so proud of you. Not an easy topic to explore, but you did it. Congratulations.
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Congrats on your bonus for this piece! Well-deserved.
a brilliant meditation on the mask of wellness. the stifled smiles and laughter hide the truth of how our hearts and minds are faring. the structure was a perfect choice for this back and forth. loved this top story and submission to the challenge. it is a beautiful introspection that stands an excellent chance at placing. well done!
As I was reading this astounding poem, the neighborhood drumming began. Yes, this is a real thing where I live. It felt timely, almost surreal, reading your words, especially lines like these: "Every soul that comes by, I let them cruise through me, Never to touch the core, Of what made me." "I yelled at the back of my throat but my mouth was shut," hit me hard, too, and the accompanying drumbeats felt personal. This whole piece felt personal, and I smile now, knowing that reading your poem held a particular message for me this morning. Congratulations on your top story and for making this week's leader board! 👏 🥰
I appreciate so much (even more after reading this poem) your sweetness, Your attention to care and uplift. No one ever knows what is going on behind the mask of the one smiling next to us....you are a gift Caitlin, I am honored to read your work and receive your encouragement. Hugs!!
Mental health and depression are such horrible afflictions. No one seems to understand how devastating it can be unless you have experienced it personally or through someone you love and have cared for. Nice job in expressing how it feels, and the frustration, Caitlin.
Inner devastation is the first thing that comes to mind, it truly feels this way. How you captured this deep painful feeling is truly amazing. Gathering inspiration from environment is also one of my favorite things to do. I could feel this in my soul. It is captivating, I had to read it twice and maybe again later ;) <3 Thank you so much for the shout out. I appreciate you! <3
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A moving and painfully honest portrayal of depression and societal disconnection. The recurring symbols create a rhythm that mirrors the struggle of keeping afloat in silence.
By the end, I felt crushing loneliness. The poem reminds me how invisible suffering can be, how well our masks can trap us.
This was so extremely sad and the ending especially hit me so hard. The part that resonated the most for me was being a cold ghost drifting through life. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
This is one way of letting feelings out and not keeping them bottled up. Good job.
I love the fractured style of this— it resonates. ❤️❤️❤️
This one is so relevant to how I feel about a lot of things. I try and make a difference but I realize I’m just one small person in this big machine. So, like you I’m shrunken and hiding in plain sight. Well written and very thought provoking.