F(e)atherless

My father died today

I thought it wouldn’t be hell

for me

I used to think so many times

about his unhealthy attitude

towards me and his own life

under the care of my mother and us –

daughters made of a different mettle

It was in no one’s power to help you

your fate was doomed to failure

You spoke to me in the last hour

I saw your soul suspended in the air

begging for forgiveness, so I let go

I absolve you for all the sins committed against me

Goodbye, farewell, be brave in there

where all human souls descended from earth

looking for what they could not find in here

now in eternal, abundant walls

Hope you found enough space

for your bulky, broken body

Hope you didn’t feel the suffering

as much as we are hereafter you

I won’t be able to talk to you anymore

explain what was wrong and why it’s nobody’s fault

When circumstances start acting rough

it’s best to shut the door

from all regrets plaguing our soul

and listen to the angels

chanting coordinated choir

for better opportunities

when we all meet there

and nothing will remind us of anything from here

where everything went awry

at least we could meet once, so we’ll recognise each other

wherever we go from now

paving invisible tracks

on the afternoon celestial map

*

18 September 2021

revised on 1 November 2021

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Thank you for reading!