Emotions are trying to kill me

This is for everyone stuck awake tonight

Unable to fall asleep because of flashbacks, insomnia, PTSD, stress, anxiety

Night is the hardest for me

For its at night when everyone else is asleep

The extra support is gone

It’s just me and the darkness

Me and my emotions

I run from my emotions all day

Feeling like if I can just stay busy or distracted enough they won’t catch up to me

Staying up as late as I can watching a movie, on my phone, writing a poem for Vocal 😊

But then the time comes when I do need to turn the light off and get into bed

And that’s when all the feelings and thoughts from the day catch up to me

That’s when all the feelings and thoughts from the past years catch up to me

They find me in my dreams, turning them into nightmares

They find me in my racing heartbeat, turning it up even faster

When will these emotions become benign creatures?

Something I don’t need to run from anymore?

Right now they feel like rabid beasts trying to destroy me

But I hope one day they settle

My therapist says that feeling them is what settles them

So I’m working up the courage to do that

Until then it’s running, distracting, and them catching me at night

But it won’t always be like this

It won’t always be like this