Each Year on Your Birthday

Each year on you birthday

I cry a little less

But the hole inside where you once were, still lives within my chest

Since I lost you

I have found much joy and happiness, seen and done many wondrous things

New loves have helped me heal

But on this day, each year, I grieve, and I don't know what to do

Because all I feel is guilt and pain when I think it should be you

It should be you, not me, blessed with all these gifts

And I would give it all to you, if only I could

There are so many things I want to do and so much I want to say

Take you in my arms, tell you how much I love and miss you, tell you it's ok

Beg you to forgive me

For the ways I let you down

It was my job to protect you

I failed in the oath that I swore

And this year on your birthday I cried a little more

Author's postscript: Happy b-day baby. Rest in peace my love. You are not forgotten. You will never be forgotten. 02/09