doubt—
it is sewn onto my back like a quilt
it is warm with familiarity
and heavy on my shoulders
doubt weighs me down with immensity
doubt is the thief of trust
and the killer of joy
it tells us not to relish in safety,
not to trust love, not to trust ourselves
and yet, even so,
doubt is the safest thing we know
it provides an answer, a light
at the end of the tunnel, a known truth
residing at the keyhole ends
of our millions of futures
doubt is truth—not always, but often
doubt is the pit in our stomachs that
breaks us or saves us
doubt is our god, our one true high
trust only in doubt; love only in doubt
know only in doubt; know only doubt!
anything is possible; anyone is a question
anyone is a threat; anyone can kill us
or love us or take us hostage
anything can happen
anything can end us or maim us
or save us and only doubt, that
stark pit in us we so resent,
that flare of unpleasant feeling
can be there to know it
before it happens
when i wish to rid myself of doubt
i wish to rid myself of fear,
of the realities that surround me
i wish to make myself inhuman
i wish to empty myself
of all that discomforts me
i wish for my love and joy
to persist on a perfect road
down a perfect path
but i am human;
i could never have taken that path
and even still, how can i relinquish
doubt, or any sewn-on part of myself?
instead, i can wear doubt as a cape
i can be its guidepost—its martyr, need be
and i can let it guide me only so far
i can see the beams of truth it shows
and trust myself enough to jump
or run away
i can be doubt’s god instead
-
I did take the I could never have taken that path sentiment not from Robert Frost, but from Sasuke—sue me. Where are my Naruto fans?
It sometimes feels like doubt is the safest choice we can make, even when it seems to eat us up and alive from the inside. How do you guys deal with doubt? Do you carry it with you always? When is it right or safe to trust?
Thank you guys so much for always engaging me with your time, attention, and intelligence. I am endlessly grateful for anyone who has ever read my work. This outlet has made me fall in love with writing again. It has also helped me to heal and deal with these dark and heavy thoughts and feelings when they come. It has helped to save me.
Sorry for being particularly sappy. ♥️
About the Creator
angela hepworth
Hello! I’m Angela and I enjoy writing fiction, poetry, reviews, and more. I delve into the dark, the sad, the silly, the sexy, and the stupid. Come check me out!
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Comments (15)
Angela, you have brought up many facets for a thoughtful soul's quest. Deep and worthy questions to be searched. Some of my life's journey with doubt: I never doubted that God existed, but there were times that I doubted His love for me. As I matured and life had more clarity, I realized that things had happened not because He didn't love me, but because He had. I also doubted my capabilities, but the more that life crushed me, the stronger I felt that I could survive, and the more I survived, the determination to succeed demanded my efforts. I also had doubt that others truly loved me, but realized that I wasn't often the problem. But I never doubted there was a lesson or silver lining in the time I had spent finding out one way or another. Doubt is a yellow light. It's about timing and looking both ways before deciding to go or stay. Otherwise, I have learned to not give too much heed to it. Loved your poem :)
this is so beautifully written, I love how you started this poem- sewn into your back like a quilt- it makes it so relatable.
Doubt is what drains us, and ironically, as your poem shows, becomes our safety net too. We're a bundle of contradictions!
i liked it
Sorry to who? The emotionally stunted who may be triggered by you sharing what you think and feel? Let them be triggered! Let them shoot all they want on the other side of their keyboards with their piss and venom. Share, share and share some more. It’s refreshing always to read anything that doesn’t feel vomited up by AI and has some human energy behind it!
We all deserve acknowledgement, and that said, the best people to give that to us are ourselves, though that can be so hard to realise sometimes. Well said, Angela.
This was very relatable, your writing always hits me on such a deep level! Love it, incredibly done! 💌🌟
Well-wrought! Faith blindly placed is the greatest cause of human error and always, inevitably, leads to atrocity. This is true not only of religious but also of secular belief (in "the leader", or "the party", or "the cause", all replacements for what sectarian religionists call "God"). Doubt, however, leads even the most wayward traveler to understand in just what we may find it worthwhile to place our faith. As to what that is, being only myself, I could only give my answer, but I suspect it best to allow others to find their own.
I've not watched Naruto but studied that poem in literature class during high school. Does that make me a Robert Frost fan? Lol As an overthinker with trust issues, I related so hard with your poem. I don't deal well with doubts or trust. To me, everything is gonna go wrong until it goes right. Everyone is guilty until proven innocent, lol. It's not easy being me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thought this was so good. I think of doubt as a safety net and a snare that holds you back. Sometimes it feels easier not to try than to try and fail. Anyway I thought this was brilliant.
Doubt come with fear any time I am doubting I will be fear not to fail we need to strong our trust to our selves because if u don't trust yourself till 90% u can't trust others that is why a lot of people are having trust issues and broken relationships
Very thought-provoking piece Angela! Sometimes I carry a little pebble of doubt with me for things I can't control so that I'm not too devastated if things don't work out.
Very intense as usual, and pause for thought inducing.
Wow! That was quite the ride. I loved this line. -doubt is the thief of trust and the killer of joy- Absolutely!!! For me, doubt is like the gateway drug to disappointment. Especially when the doubt is centered around one and their abilities. It's like you are setting yourself up and talking yourself into the disappointment. Great poem, angela.
I do not doubt this will get top story! This is amazing! Great work!