The grave collapses
ghoul claws the dirt walls, but falls...
and grabs my ankle.
I considered submitting this as my entry for the Haunted Echoes Challenge.
Here is the haiku I chose for the Challenge:
I'm seeking feedback (constructive criticism and positive feedback are okay). Thanks for reading.
About the Creator
John R. Godwin
Sifting daily through the clutter of my mind trying to create something beautiful.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
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Comments (3)
Oh my, this is a terrifying haiku! In the best possible way. Very carefully chosen words, has a nice rhythm, and is very vivid in nature.
Oooo this had such a lovely rhythm to it. 🪦Your words were chosen with care. I could tell. Ghoul claws the dirt walls. 🪦The tongue cruised through, nicely. It also slows down the event. Which works so well. That last line was very effective. Outstanding work. Love love LOVE your style of writing. Win or lose this was a solid piece, John. 🤗❤️🖤
That is a terrifying and powerful Haiku! You created such a vivid, sudden shock in just three lines. The ending line really grabs you!