Dear Diary: Mother

June. 28. 2023

Dear Diary,

What is life without your parents in it?

Without a mother's love or a father's care?

I speak not of death upon my parents, but when I speak ill of them, I'll shed no tears.

For you see, my parents are quite alive, and of them I'll vilify.

And as a child I should - for my parents - show some respect,

but who are you to control a child who’s in distress?

A mother’s job is to make their child happy, hold them close and tell them you’ll always be near.

A mother should always be there for her child.

My point is, my mother should have been there by my side!

My mother should have been there to hold me when I cried.

My mother should have been there to help me learn the lessons from my mistakes.

My mother should have been there to console me when I had my first heartbreak.

My mother should have been here to kiss me and tell me it would be okay.

How angry it made me to watch other children grow up,

with a mother by their side, with a mother they could love.

I shed a tear on June 28, 2023, I did all the things that would make a mother proud.

I made it through high school, no pregnancy, no expulsion,

so explain to me, why didn’t you show up to my graduation?

They called my name to collect my certificate and only my friends cheered for me.

When I went to the stage, I avert my eyes from the crowd,

because there is no need to search for someone that wouldn’t be found.

You texted me a few minutes before it was over, saying, “It was today? Congratulations!”

I sighed disappointingly, turned off my phone, held my head down and let the tears fall free,

And my best friend, Trishauna, was the only one who hugged and consoled me.

But it shouldn’t have been her, it shouldn’t have been her arms around me.

Why should your daughter’s best friend play the role of a mother?

Your support and acknowledgement was what I needed at that moment, and forever.

Of course, you paid my school fee, bought my uniforms and paid for my graduation package.

So what more could I possibly need?

I needed my mother to be there, physically and emotionally, beaming down on me with glee.

I know you had to travel and work on June 28, 2023, trust me I do.

But you could have sent someone like my aunt to take your place, but you asked no one.

And that's another thing I just can’t understand!

But who am I to question your actions? I am nothing but a child.

Well, there are a lot of other things that you did in the past,

but not going to my graduation will be the only scar that lasts!