Dear Bugsy

Dear Bugsy,

I'm not gonna lie, I was so mad at you. Mad that you had the audacity to just up and leave. Mad at God for calling you home when He did. Mad at the realization that you were such a big piece of my hear. You were supposed to outlive all of us, but now we're here living life without seeing you all the time. I was pissed, especially because you made mom do the one thing no parent should ever have to do in their lifetime, bury their children. I think about you every day. I think about how when you were born I was constantly told, "to set a good example because your little brother will follow everything you do." And sure enough, you did. You became my first friend, my first ride or die. The first person who without a shadow of a doubt would have my back no matter what. You were my twin, my mini-me, wherever I was, you were. And I lead us down some sketchy paths. I got into sports and you started playing too. I got into drugs and you started dealing. I hung out with gangbangers and you became one. I got clean and you stopped dealing. I left our old life and you did too. I got baptized in the Spirit and you were next in line behind me. You grew into a man of God and I've never been prouder than when I saw the lives that you impacted so much. There are times when I am still so mad that you're gone. And a friend shared with me that there were a couple of people in the bible who God just called home; no rhyme, no reason. And they felt that you were just one of those people, God just said 'Come home son,' and you did. It's still a struggle every day without you and now without lola. There have been moments when I didn't see the point of living and with every attempt I made to just end it all, something always stops me. Then another friend told me that the best way to honor the people we lost, is to live your life as the best version of yourself. So here is my promise to you, to live my life as the best version of me, as if I am still setting a good example for you. Live life with intentionality. And I know I will stumble, but I'm confident that you will still have my back. So to end this letter here, I love you, baby bro. 'Till we see each other again.

Love Always,

Chickey