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Dance of Absolution

A villanelle drawn from the maxim that [sometimes] you have to lose yourself to find yourself.

By Caroline JanePublished 2 years ago β€’ 1 min read
Runner-Up in Villanelle Challenge
Dance of Absolution
Photo by Tom Rogerson on Unsplash

"Yes." I inhale. "You are quite right."

My golden embers burn into the sketchy dusk and fade away.

"It is much easier to lose yourself at night."

I lean into the brace of our shadows as they rise to steal the light,

dancing in the hushed score of a frayed end day.

"Yes." I exhale. "You are quite right,

dying is much better when done out of sight.

We are creatures, and this is our way.

It is much easier to lose yourself at night.

There is a depth to the dark that is absent to the bright."

I smile. You are already halfway to far away.

"Yes." I nod. "You are quite right,

we should give ourselves completely. Why put up a fight?

We can breathe in the dark and be where we stray.

It is much easier to lose yourself at night."

My breath plumes from me. A phoenix taking flight.

I close my eyes and feel the world in sway.

"Yes," I whisper, "You are quite right,

it is much easier to lose yourself at night."

***

Villanelle

About the Creator

Caroline Jane

CJ lost the plot a long time ago. Now, she writes to explore where all paths lead, collecting crumbs of perspective as her pen travels. One day, she may have enough for a cake, which will, no doubt, be fruity.

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  1. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

Add your insights

Comments (41)

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  • Denise E Lindquist10 months ago

    Very good!!❀️

  • JBaz2 years ago

    You can put music to this poem. You created an emotional movement with this piece.

  • C. H. Richard2 years ago

    Beautiful poem ❀️ It had the essence of a romantic song. Loved it❀️ Congratulations on your win!

  • Alison McBain2 years ago

    Excellent poem! I loved your dialogue.

  • Congratulations ! I love how you managed to make this sound modern even within a traditional form.

  • Gina C.2 years ago

    Congratulations, Caroline! 😍 I loved this one from the start! Well-deserved! πŸ€—

  • Lamar Wiggins2 years ago

    Wow! This was so unique, Caroline. I see why it earned a badge. Congrats!!!

  • Awesomeeee congratulations!!! πŸŽ‰πŸ’–πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸ’–πŸŽŠ

  • Dana Crandell2 years ago

    Congratulations again, Caroline! This is one of my favorites1

  • D.K. Shepard2 years ago

    Congrats! This was excellent in all ways! Resonated strongly!

  • Paul Stewart2 years ago

    Ms Jones congrats on another bloody marvellous placement! Well done well done!

  • Shirley Belk2 years ago

    Congratulations!!

  • Grz Colm2 years ago

    Love this message and terrific Villanelle! Came here by way of your leaderboard placement! Congrats Caroline. πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘

  • L.C. SchΓ€fer2 years ago

    This one is definitely a contender. I'd wish you luck in the challenge but I don't think you need it 😎

  • Wow. Congrats on top storyπŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰

  • Rachel Deeming2 years ago

    I loved this. Made me thoughtful and sort of longing for quiet to contemplate.

  • Test2 years ago

    This was hauntingly beautiful! Calming and yet bone chilling in the sentiment it carried as a theme!! Great work Caroline and congrats on Top Story!

  • Dana Crandell2 years ago

    Absolutely brilliant! Congratulations!

  • Congratulations on the top story. The intricacy of this is breathtaking. Lines like I close my eyes and feel the world in sway just swept me away. Amazing work

  • L.C. SchΓ€fer2 years ago

    So clever! I haven't got the hang of this form 😁

  • Babs Iverson2 years ago

    Wonderful!!! Love this!!! β€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’•Congratulations on Top Story!!!

  • Mackenzie Davis2 years ago

    Gobsmacked, Caroline, absolutely. Wow. This is a winner, I smell it in the air. What a brilliant villanelle! The way you enjambed your lines, continued sentences across stanzas, is just amazingly done. Bravo!

  • I'm back to say congratulations on your Top Story!

  • K. Kocheryan2 years ago

    Congrats on Top Story. Lovely Villanelle.

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