D I S O W N E D

i still hold on to them

as tenderly as i would glass shards

so sharp the cut isn't felt.

they keep leaving open wounds like unwanted gifts.

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just when i think i've healed them all,

another cut bleeds fresh grief.

the pain isn't physical

but it's visceral.

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i recoil the moment i feel the sting,

it comes with a quickness,

so freshly inflicted.

who would have thought memories could be this raw?

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i mourn the loss what could have been,

what never should have come to pass.

the impact of your greedy narcissistic views still linger,

building under my skin like a bruise.

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you always loved to play the victim of the hour,

shifting blame to convenient targets.

like a lamb to slaughter

i was blind to the reality of your nature,

a wolf dressed in the trappings of a trusted parent.

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you became that which you railed against,

oppression through obligation.

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you weren't ready when i spit the truth.

through gritted teeth i praised you,

tried to evoke that eternal,

unbreakable bond of unconditional love.

i never dreamed this would be the reality of us.

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sometimes i find myself wondering,

do you still miss me as much as i miss you?

are there harsh realizations

where you regret the divide you caused,

or are you as content with this estrangement as you seem?

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it's amazing how life keeps marching on.

regardless of the blood we share,

or the bonds that lay broken between us.

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i still feel so baffled by the reality you've constructed.

where i'm the villain of your history,

and you're still refusing to take accountability.

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i guess motherhood never quite sat right on you.

like the forced performance of a bitter actor on a stage,

you performed for praise of a different audience.

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i hope the shattered moments of my childhood haunt you,

and that you choke on your regret.

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you started burning any bridges left between us,

i'm just finishing what you started.

i guess that's something i'm already used to doing,

right mother?