Indefinable

I love the moment when I can find

that stillness, when my body

no longer feels like a weight

that I have to carry,

and it feels like whatever it is

that makes up me expands outward,

into the atmosphere—

weightless, formless, and truly disconnected.

It is such a hard moment to capture.

You can find it in those times

just before sleep, when your mind

frees itself from the prison

of flesh and form.

The nearest that I have felt

is when I close my eyes

and lie back in water, floating,

the warmth of the sun causing my skin

to hum in a frequency

that feels like magic.

Sounds are muffled, dulled

in the best of ways,

letting me ignore

anything else around me.

In those times,

that is where I believe

my indefinable self lives—

in that place of complete freedom

and comfort.

No pressure pulling me down,

like gravity, trying to make me conform

to the space I was assigned.

Instead, I can feel

the truly limitless expanse of self

reaching outwards.

That is how I know

we are universes unto ourselves.